Open fields of wild flowers

2011-05-03T00:50:00.000-07:00

Sisterhood of the traveling boutique

2010-07-31T14:11:00.000-07:00

Recently I had a little party at my place for my beautiful single gal friends. I had a little suprize for them when they arrived that I affectionately called "Michele's Boutique". This idea was spun from a friend of mine who had lost weight and had clothes to give away that she no longer needed from sizes 4 to 14.

My friend knowing that I was on a weight loss journey myself asked if I would like the clothes she no longer needed to see if I could find some treasures to wear in them. I was excited because I had gotten into a 14 and am working on getting into a 12 and my friend has beautiful taste.

So when we were chatting we remembered my upcoming party and decided that it would be awesome to share these beautiful clothes with all our friends already coming over to the party. So we had a little women's dress up party in my room for them waiting when they arrived.

I was also inspired by my friends gift that I decided to go through my closet as well and added to the larger collection of sizes so that every woman of every size would find something to wear. My housemate also contributed and soon we had a room full of beautiful clothes from sizes 4 to 28.

I invited each women who came to come up to my room and visit "Michele's Boutique". It was amazing and felt a little like we were girls playing dress up finding treasures. There were 9 women who found something to be blessed by and then two bags left over to donate to our church.

It was a bit like the "sisterhood of the traveling pants" in that we all found something new to wear and a little magic in the moment of finding the treasures.

There was one thing though that made me a little sad as I saw the joy of my friends in treasures found. I had played a fly on the wall listening to the women as they looked in my boutique during the night.

It seemed like each of the women no matter what size they were wanted to be smaller, more petite or had some body part they felt made them imperfect or not beautiful. I couldn't believe it when I heard a size 6 friend share how she didn't want this one skirt because she felt her legs were just too chubby in the knees to show them.

"I would kill to be her size" I thought as I stared at her in disbelief. We all tried to convince this friend that she looked great in the skirt but I am not sure if we did. It made me think about what is truely beautiful. I had to ask myself the question... is my beauty defined by my dress size? If it is defined by that then at what size will I feel beautiful?

Women often take a look around and see other woman who are a few sizes smaller and think "I wish I were her size, then I would be beautiful". We all seem to think our size isn't beautiful. Seeing my friend's insecurity I found out that we all can't be right.

That size 6 gal who felt shy about showing her legs because she felt they weren't perfect in her eyes has no idea how beautiful she is in the eyes of the size 14 or 28. It seems that societys model of air brushed magazine cover women just pollutes us all into thinking we can't be beautiful right where we are at.

I have to admit in the end I do see the very petite women and wish I were that "hot" thing but really I have to see what really matters in the end. Jesus isn't going to care what dress size I wore in the end when I get to heaven. My journey of weight loss of now over 240 pounds is admirable for the discipline but God really cares about my heart.

I have to pray that my friends and I can find His eyes to see ourselves in when feeling like we will never be good enough. It's really about realizing that it is truely about who we are as confident servants of a loving God that matters most. It's not about our dress size.

So I would challenge you to have a boutique with your girlfriends and open it up to all sizes. God loves you right where your at. His grace covers us whether we are a size 4 or a size 38 which is what I was at my highest. He knows our hearts beauty is what He will see and value so work on making that part of you beautiful. I think that is what will make us shine.

Song in my head: Free to be me -Francesca Battiselli
Fruit: Love
Verse: Genesis 6:² the sons of God saw that the daughters of men were beautiful, and they married any of them they chose.

Bliss

2010-07-05T12:15:00.000-07:00

Here is a poem I wrote in High School.

Bliss
The Son shines upon me now,
I thank Him for my firey heart,
He knows I was always free to soar in the winds above,
Now I can see this as nature surrounds me,
Let's make this world home, decorating it with love we all can own,
A world without a killing spree, a world pollution free,
No more guns and catastrophe,
Love and Chaos... it's all there
Days just waiting to be written in the great white book upstairs,

Published in Impressions 1994

Choosing to look up!

2010-06-24T14:13:00.000-07:00

There are so many friends of mine who are discouraged lately. They have lost so many things. They lost their job, a loved one died, a heart was broken, someones sick or it's just a little summertime blues. I found myself a bit down yesterday when opening some boxes remembering some things.

I recently moved all my worldly goods down from Washington to California where I plan on living forever unless God tells me different. I opened some boxes I hadn't opened in years. They held some treasures of mine that I had forgotten and loved.

They also held some hard memories of trials I faced and loved ones I have lost. I found the necklace my beloved grandma gave me when I was a little girl. It's got an M on if for Michele. I found my Father's Vietnam yearbook and photos of him. I found an old piece of paper my Aunt Paula had written a recipe on for me that she used to make before she died.

It's been many years since my grandma passed and about a year a half since my dad's passing and my aunt Paula's but it's still hard to miss them in the moment when you see a little glimpse of them you hadn't seen in awhile.

I have found you really have to let God heal the losses in His time. It's so easy to try to put a wall around those hurts and bury them. I have found that they are never really buried very far below the surface though. If you dig just a few inches it's still there until you replace it.

I think it's about a choice to choose to feel the pain for a time but let Joy reign supreme in the end. I let myself feel the pain of it but made a choice not to stay there to long. I have to look up and see the beautiful blue sky God gave me today and feel His Sonshine on my face.

He takes care of those little wildflowers that can grow from any old crack in the ground so surely He can take care of me. His grace covers us and showers us with peace if we can just look around and see How very much He loves us and has given us.

He gave us the blue sky, white puffy clouds, flowers, and beautiful day. He also let a little rain fall sometimes. I think it helps me always remember how very much we need Him. I choose to look up and see how very much He has given and see the rainbow of His promises ahead.

I would challenge you to find a little joy in something today. Look around right where your at in the middle of your crisis and find an eye to the middle of your storm. Sometimes it's when you stop and look around that you see your really not in such a tough place after all.

Fruit: Peace
Song in my head: Peets never ending classical song
Verse: 2 Thessalonians 3:3 “But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen and protect you...”

Lost Fish; Reward if found

2010-05-30T19:55:00.001-07:00

Have you ever felt like you were just stuck? There's a decision you need to make and a million possibilities to consider and you just can get out of this maze of a fish bowl your in.

I felt like this little lost fish a few days ago. I was swimming as fast as I could around in circles trying in my little glass bowl to make sense of things and not able to go up to the surface for air.

I felt like I just had to figure it all out on my own. I know my decision will impact my future and it scared me. It scared me to think I could make the wrong decision. It scared me so much that I had trouble seeing my way to the surface where I wouldn't be looking through water, trying to read the signs.

I needed to get out of the water for a bit and just breathe some air. I decided I needed to get away from it so I could get some perspective so I went to the gym. After working out I felt a little better but that decision and resolution to it was still there and I was still stuck.

That's when a friend called and asked me for a big favor. It was one that called me to pack within the hour and run off to help her on an overnight road trip. I decided this escape was just what I needed and so I went for it.

I needed the escape to find a bit of perspective and get my head wrapped around all I was considering. I didn't come up with my answer right after my trip but I think it unstuck me to think of someone else instead of swimming in my bowl aimlessly getting more and more lost.

I think it's easy to get lost and feel like you don't have a direction. Today God really showed me as I went to church that I have to reach out and ask for directions. I can't do this alone. I have to have some arrow pointers helping to guide me.

A friend was an arrow pointer to me today when she looked at my tear filled fish bowl I was swimming in and showed me how I could break down the issue and take a breath of fresh air. She made it simple and told me to stop swimming and float.

God made us so we can float in the water if I just let go. Sometimes we have to relax let God have our anxiety and only then can we see clearly. It can happen in a moment, a twinkling of an eye, a soft blink if we let it. It is really a choice.

So I decided to stop swimming and come up the surface. Even though I don't have a completely clear direction quite yet, I know I can see it up here floating.

It's amazing to me how God always takes care of me. I can feel so very lost but He always has a reward out for me. He wants the best for me and loves me even when I'm swimming so fast I take my eyes off of Him and on me.

Jesus loves me and loves you too. So let go and float.

Fruit: Patience
Song in my head: All I need - Bethany Dillon
Verse: Phil 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Standing

2010-05-04T19:47:00.000-07:00

Heart of Worship

2010-05-02T20:59:00.000-07:00

When I am at a church service I can sometimes get preoccupied walking in with all those little everyday things running through my head. I'm thinking about the laundry I need to do, the lunch I am going to after service or so many other things.

I can get distracted and feel a bit like its not a worshipful time if I am not careful to stop, close my eyes and look up. I had a friend challenge me to blog about my worship experience when I shared it with her. So in taking on that challenge... here it is.

What I do when I'm in that intimate room we all call our sanctuary (which could really be anyplace) is simple yet helps me focus and close out that world that wants to creep into my worship time.

I close my eyes and imagine I am standing in the middle of this huge open outdoor theatre in the middle of the night. It's pitch dark and there's a million stars above me. I'm completely alone in this huge place and yet suddenly I can hear the sounds of worship music starting all around me.

My worries and my world start fading away and I look up. It's then that I have the courage to raise my hands and surrender knowing it's just me and my God above in this place. We are alone together and there is nothing else to separate us.

I imagine a beam light with love from me coming from my hands surrendered. I feel free and just know that Jesus is up there looking down at me smiling, letting me know He loves me.

Fruit: JOY
Song in my head: Heart of Worship
Verse: Romans 12:12 “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”

The Wedding Ring Scar

2010-04-29T00:24:00.000-07:00

My pastor shared a story last weekend about a scar he had that reminded him of an answered prayer and I was inspired to rethink my scar. I decided I needed to love my scar and not be ashamed of it and see it for what it is. Its an outward sign of a inward change still on my finger to remind me of how very far I have come. It's a sign of how powerful God is.

I was divorced 3 years ago and when I took off my wedding ring about 3 1/2 years ago I had a severe wound underneath my ring. Let me tell you how it got there.

When I got married I was hurting from childhood abuse and fear. I was always overweight growing up and was still very heavy at the time my ex husband and I got married.

Because food was my choice for coping with life I gained over 150 pounds during my 10 year marriage while dealing with a husband who had an addiction and who worked as a missionary and for the church during our marriage.

Even though my ex husband was an addict I was willing to fight for our marriage and never ever wanted to give up. My ex-husband decided that he wanted something different than what he had promised on our wedding day. He didn’t want God or me anymore and so our divorce became final 3 years ago this month.

I gained so much weight during the marriage and since my ring had never been sized up it was literally wounding me. I was so determined during the marriage to never ever take my ring off that it had dung into my skin and created a deep scar where the ring had been. When I finally had gotten it off 3 1/2 years ago it had bled and blistered leaving a deep indentation and scar.

It seemed like this scar would never heal as I waited for it to. The first year after my divorce I went to God and repented of my food addiction and lost over 100 pounds and then over the last two years I have lost over 100 more.

Still this whole time the scar from my ring hasn’t disappeared completely. It’s very faded and probably only I know it is there but I kept praying. God take away my scar so I’m not scarred forever as a woman divorced.

Then this last weekend when I heard my pastor sharing of how he was proud of his scar I really felt God whisper to me not to be ashamed of my scar. It’s a huge testimony of the healing He has done in me. He has healed me but left some of my scar for just awhile longer than I had wanted to help me remember how very far I have come.

By His stripes we are healed and I know my scar will go away completely someday or I will get another ring to cover it but I realized I need to think differently of it. I think from now on when I look down I am going to smile and remember how Gods love has healed me and not about the place I came from because that is just history. I want to dance in the freedom I know now. Dance with me and love your scars because they are just a testimony of the power of an awesome God who loves us right where we are at.

Fruit: Peace

Song in my head: History; Matthew West

Verse: Psalm 30:2 O LORD my God, I called to you for help and you healed me.

How to make a left turn

2010-04-17T09:40:00.000-07:00

Have you ever just realized you have grown up a bit and been a little happy inside for that new sprout of life growing from you? I felt like this today.

Have you ever been driving someplace new and had to make a u turn because you were going the wrong way? For me since moving to another state I have had to make a lot of u turns.

There is one place in perticular that I go often and the first time I went there I passed by it and had to make a u turn. For some reason after that first u turn in passing this place I would go to often, I kept repeating it like the uturn was the way I got to this place.

Everytime I would be heading to this place I would think on the way that I need to remember to look for it. Yet again and again I would have to pass by it, see it and realize that yet again I had to make a u turn.

This was the definition of insanity. I was doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. So today when I didn't have to make the u turn and realized it as I was making the left turn instead I smiled.

God is good and faithful to teach me to stop the insanity and just grow. I can grow in the pot where I am planted. I only need the Son of Gods love in my pot and some rain to soak in my roots.

So every time I find that u turn coming up again I can remember now that its just Gods way of teaching me that I can find His favor in my life if I only reach out to stop, listen and love the pot He has planted me in. When I am content with where I am in my journey I can grow and stop making so many u turns. Focus and make the left turns.

Fruit: JoY
Song in my head: The classical stuff Peets plays while I am writing
Verse: Someplace: This surpassing power is not from us but from God

Doing the Ipod shuffle

2010-04-13T20:32:00.000-07:00

Sounds like the start of a bad joke...

So this sweaty, chubby, confused looking girl walks up to this superfit, gym worker, body builder guy who is hyperventilating over each tight thing walking by and says "can you please help me with my Ipod?".

The gym guy probably thought it was a line and so he must have had some mercy for me when he smiled and said "I can help." I am of course the only one on the planet who has never owned an Ipod before or so I was feeling pretty jazzed to join the ranks of the Ipod savvy.

However when I tried to figure out how to use it I was a bit lost because it was working but then my music started coming out the speakers and my earphones at the same time.

I to humbly go where the unfashionable girls don't typically go and walked up to the counter to ask someone. He took my Ipod and fiddled and played around with it a bit and really I don't know what he did but it started coming in my ears and not out the speakers so I was in business. I still will have ask someone from the Apple store that one.

So after I got it coming in my ears I turned it to shuffle and hit play. It seemed like every song out of my new 31 was exactly what I needed to hear in my work out today. I wondered if God doesn't have control of my Ipods shuffle. He has everything else in His hands so why not my little Ipod.

Music gives me life and inspires me to go for it when I'm scared to dream. I had to ask the question. What is my dream and does God have control of it. Is He in charge of my shuffle? I decided that I have to fill my Ipod with the things that can give Him room to shuffle me in the right direction. I am listening to hear His song.

Fruit: JoY
Song in my head: Only Grace - Matthew West
Verse: ^{Proverbs 4: 7} Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding. ⁸ Esteem her, and she will exalt you; embrace her, and she will honor you.⁹ She will set a garland of grace on your head and present you with a crown of splendor."

Rainbows Ahead! Look up and see it!

2010-04-12T20:05:00.000-07:00

I was a little sad this morning. I woke up sleepy and feeling a little bit blue. Today is my birthday and it didn't feel like it. It was raining cats and dogs and I was feeling a little sad from a disappointment from yesterday. I had a hope in that and it was crushed... but still I decided I am going to pray.

Really that old 90's song is still true. You have got to pray just to make it today. So I took a run through the rain this morning and I got a little wet but sometimes I think I need to get wet. I need to feel the rain to know how very dependent I am on a loving God to see me through.

If it never rained I would never get the chance to see that rainbow. I know it's going to be there. I just have to remember and wait for it. He is faithful to bring out the sun even on the darkest of days and crushing desert valley lows we walk through.

His power is made perfect in my weakness. He is all I need even when I think what I want is what I need. He knows my hearts desire and will lead me to it.

Fruit: Peace
Song in my head: All I need
Verse: ^{Genesis 9:16} Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth."

Liking the Banana Berry girl

2010-03-28T20:02:00.000-07:00

When I go to Jamba Juice now I ask for the Banana Berry, hold the sherbert, hold the apple juice, hold the ice cream add soymilk and extra blueberries. Basically I make it my own so it's a healthy drink with only blueberries banana and soymilk.

I really like to make things my own making them unique. I like my dressing on the side. Hold the olives and give me extra onions please. Maybe I seem like Meg Ryan in "When Harry Met Sally" when I tend to be a somewhat choosy in foods and things.

I have history that makes me like a classic car. God saw my rusty, beat up, non running 64 Mustang life and He rebuilt me. Now I am shiny but I take a bit more maintenance than new car fresh off the lot. I need the right fuel, the right time invested, and taken out for a spin around town to keep me running.

So I have decided that I am liking the Banana Berry girl. I just have to admit and fess up that I am and will forever more be a bit more complicated. But I think I and know I am worth it.

God is in the business of restoring old cars. He takes those broken dowm people and makes them shiny again. Trust Him to do it for you.

Fruit: Peace
Song in my head: All I need - Bethany Dillon
Verse: Matthew 22:37 "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind."

Somewhere over the Rainbow :)

2010-02-19T23:21:00.001-08:00

TV Challenge

2010-01-07T20:28:00.000-08:00

Okay everyone knows TV is a big waste of time right? Well, I decided I needed to waste time effectively.

I love my Paris Chocolate Sculpture Challenge, Cake Boss, Biggest Loser, Idol, Hallmark Lifetime tear jerkers, Antiques Roadshow, House, CSI, Monk, Frazier, Friends, Travel shows.

So I was watching TV last night and I heard of a Mayo Clinic Diet thing where the couple doing it made a pact not to watch TV unless they worked out the same amount of time they watched.

I thought this was a great idea but how I wondered can you do that at home. I know you can watch TV now a days at the gym.

Yet, you don't always feel like going to the gym at 9 or 10 at night when watching. Here are some ideas for keeping you busy to get some exercise while watching the idiot box.

1. Do leg lifts while watching switching sides every 20

2. Get a weight and do arm lifts in all directions

3. Get up and just walk in place, knees up high, keep moving your arms during the show and rest during the commercials.

4. Sing during the intro song... singing burns calories

5. Go online, type emails/blogs/facebook while watching/listening, any extra motion burns more calories than sitting alone.

6. Dance around during commercial breaks and do 12 sit ups as soon as the show comes back on

7. Fold laundry while standing

8. Groom your nails, clipping, painting and such

9. Do some yoga stretches

10. Run/Walk quickly around your house during commercial breaks

Mix it up with several of these and make your own fun TV watching routine. Basically just get off your booty and do something. I like the wheat field dancing photo I found. It's on my life to do list to dance around in a wheat field someday on a road trip. :)

Fruit: Self Control

Song in my head: Love song for a Savior

Verse: “Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering...”- Ephesians 5:1-2

Christmas Love Quotes

2009-12-17T20:48:00.000-08:00

I found some great Christmas quotes I thought I would share. I wanted to feel a bit more Christmasy and found them touching. I hope they do the same for you. The photo to the left is of my little Christmas tree.

Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love.-- Hamilton Wright Mabi

Let us remember that the Christmas heart is a giving heart, a wide open heart that thinks of others first. The birth of the baby Jesus stands as the most significant event in all history, because it has meant the pouring into a sick world of the healing medicine of love which has transformed all manner of hearts for almost two thousand years... Underneath all the bulging bundles is this beating Christmas heart.-- George Mathhew Adams

From Home to home, and heart to heart, from one place to another. The warmth and joy of Christmas, brings us closer to each other. -- Emily Matthews

"It is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air." -- W. T. Ellis

"What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future. It is a fervent wish that every cup may overflow with blessings rich and eternal, and that every path may lead to peace." -- Agnes M. Pharo

A Christmas candle is a lovely thing; It makes no noise at all, But softly gives itself away; While quite unselfish, it grows small. -- Eva K. Logue

"Love came down at Christmas; Love all lovely, love divine; Love was born at Christmas, Stars and angels gave the sign." -- Christina Rossetti

Fruit: Joy

Song in my head: Oh holy night

Verse: I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.. Phil 4:13

Things to be Thankful for

2009-11-28T18:33:00.000-08:00

1. Raindrops on Roses... whiskers on kittens
2. Beautiful Blue Sunshine days
3. The love of friends and family
4. Bear hugs where they don't let go right away
5. A warm cup of peppermint tea with a candle burning
6. Christmas songs sung by a real fire
7. The beautiful colors of every season on earth
8. Ten tiny wiggly toes of a newborn baby
9. Peace in the midst of a storm
10. Knowing there is a God who loves you just as you are

Fruit: Peace
Song in my head: Chestnuts roasting by an open fire..
Verse: Philip 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me..

Wanna be a Pumpkin?

2009-10-31T09:20:00.000-07:00

What do we do with pumpkins? We cut open a hole in them and take all the gutz and gooey stuff out. We remove those seeds and then we carve a face on it and put a light inside. I was listening to the radio station K-love yesteday and they suggesed thats what Jesus does for us.

He opens us up and takes out all those seeds of sin and yuckie stuff inside cleaning us out. Then He carves us a new face and puts His holy spirit light inside so we can shine bright. I like pumpkins and I wanna be one now! :)

Fruit: JOY

Song in my head: Dance to the freedom we know song.. (name?)

Verse: 2 Corinthians 4:7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.

Working it out!

2009-10-19T21:28:00.000-07:00

Dressed in my humble old T-shirt and loose hem shorts only fit for working out in I walked into the into the ritzy gym where most people wear those "work out" outfits.

I came by my newly upgraded membership through a 10 dollar upgrade special that makes my total gym cost 13.95 per month. I have been a member since 1990 of the third lowest price locations so that is why my upgrade cost was so little.

I upgraded because this location of the chain of my gyms is located near my new job. Walking into this place today I kinda felt like a poor gal in a rich persons gym. I looked around and then a bit at my shoes. I decided to brave it up and walked up to my favorite torture device machine and smiled and thought "but, hey we are all just people."

I got on and someone dressed to kill jumped on next to me. I smiled and said "hello" wondering if she would talk to me. I found out that I can work out next to that CEO gal I met and actually have a great conversation.

Partly I can smile, nod my head and pretend I understand what the state of the business climate is like in the current economic state. I can let her vent and then talk about what I really know. I know people. Down at the heart we are all the same. We need a savior. Some people just go to the gym looking for it.

On a rainy day your subject to going to the gym unless you brave the drops. I am becoming such a Californian afraid of a few sprinkles. Working out can feels so good after a day at work sitting. It's a way to get out that stress and work it out physically.

Yet... There is nothing, absolutely nothing that beats the sweet love of a Savior.
His grace covers us. His eyes watch over us. He loves us even if we skip the gym.

Hearing about the stress of a life without Jesus today I felt so blessed that I have more than a temporary fix of the gym to work it out. I have a forever Jesus who just loves us. He loves us.. oh how He loves us. It's good to go to the gym but there is nothing like a God who can work all things out.

Fruit: Joy
Song in my head: All I Need -Bethany Dillon
Verse: Isaiah 40:29 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

Odd combinations that make great healthy snacks

2009-10-06T12:00:00.000-07:00

I as so excited today when I found yet another new odd combination that makes a great healthy snack. I am always looking for a great snack for my diet that's low on the calorie side and high in the healthyness side.

It's very simple but quite yummie. You have to try it before you can say you think it's nuts or think you know what it will taste like.

What I did was in my morning rush I put some Baby Carrots in the same baggie as a handful of raisins. I found out when I ate them together it made an great combination.

The raisins made the Baby carrots taste sweeter and fresher while the carrots evened out the overwhelming sweetness taste of the raisins. I also tend to love the crunchy verses soft texture together aswell. It's a bit odd but quite wonderful if you try it.

Some other combinations I have discovered along my weight loss journey in the past two years have been quite by accident but yummie (in my opinion) aswell.

Here are my top seven... 1. Carrots and Raisins together 2. Cooked carrots and warm Ketchup 3. Sugar-free Jelly bellys and Almonds 4. Green Beans and warm Ketchup 5. Frozen Blueberries, Low/nonfat vanilla soy milk with spenda 6. Sunflower seeds and cottage cheese 7. Onion cream cheese and basil salad or sandwhich

Sometimes great things come from odd combinations. It just goes to show you can never really know you will like something different or that you consider odd unless you try it. I tend to need some variety in eating right at times or I just get bored. Spice it up with some cinnamon or give it a untraditional condiment.

Fruit: Joy
Song in my head: This is the day
Verse: “Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD, is the Rock eternal.”- Isaiah 26:4

A Masterpiece

2009-09-29T21:48:00.000-07:00

Eye of a Hurricane

2009-09-04T23:17:00.000-07:00

Definition: A zone of weak winds exists in the center of the swirling vortex of a hurricane or typhoon known as the eye.

Imagine everything around you is out of focus as a great wind takes control making it so stormy and cold and you can't see your hand in front of your face. The swirling vortex is all you can see and there is no peace. That is when suddenly you see a bit of calm come and suddenly you can see a bit further and a bit more. The wind is still blowing but it's not as hard or as faat and you can catch your breath and breathe again. Your in the eye of a hurricane.

It could happen in the space of a moment. A job could be lost, a love one could die, a marriage falls apart, or you make a mistake that costs you more than you can pay.

There seems to always be something on the herizon of our lives that could happen. When it happens the thing you have to do is to find the eye. The eye is that place where you can find a little peace amidst the storm. It's a place where Jesus is that gives you a gentle rest in the middle of the night when you can't sleep.

Looking out for my eye right now I found a piece of my peace through a book I recently read about giving everyday a chance by Max Lucado. Even those days when the hurricane floods I found it is still the day the Lord has made and I can find a way to rejoice in it.

Sometimes it's harder to find the peace when your world is so windy that your not seeing a way for peace. It's when you stop looking around and start looking up that you can see there is a hope. There is a gentle reminder that in those birds singing outside my window waking me up a little to early still get fed each day. God feeds those birds and takes care of them. So much is true that He will take care of you too.

I think it comes down to a literal choice we have to make each day to rejoice and be glad in it. If the rain falls it's there for a reason. Make a mud puddle and splash around in it. It's like that old saying "If life gives you lemons, Make Lemonade!".

I want to encourage you to find your eye in the middle of your hurricane the next time one comes blowing your way. Find the shelter and reach for the peace that only a loving God can give. It's there while looking up you can finally see some sun in between those clouds.

Fruit: Joy
Song in my head: Let us rejoice
Psalm 118:24 “This is the day the Lord has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it.”

Is God a Red Balloon?

2009-08-27T20:09:00.000-07:00

5 Minute Sermon.. Anyone anyone?

2009-08-22T13:38:00.000-07:00

I smiled as I looked into the eyes of this sweet little gentleman. I used the thongs to scoop some salad onto his plate and he said "thank you". He looked at me like he had some hope in those eyes behind the clothes he wore. He smelled like he had a shower recently unlike several of the others I served in the line.

The line was long and the people seemed to come endlessly. They must have some source to hear about these meals served on Saturdays. I wondered how they knew where to go. Then I realized that word of mouth about a free meal must travel quick among the homeless community.

When I volunteered to serve the homeless Ministry I didn't know I was in for a lesson. I had served soup kitchens before and in a homeless shelter before but no one had ever asked "Will someone give a testimony?".

I was standing in the line up with my thongs in hand ready to serve that salad with gusto when she asked the question "will someone come up and share a bit?". I stood there looking at my salad feeling my heart beat a little faster. I knew I needed to just go for it but

I stumbled looking at the faces of my friends who were doing the same thing I was.

I decided to go for it so I said "I will". With no preparation and just a knowledge that I wanted to encourage these people I walked towards the woman who lead this little ministry. By this time there were about 100 or so homeless people gathered around these tables that have seen better days.

She said hello and introduced me and handed me the microphone. I have no idea where it came from.. but it must have been from some deep place inside that only Jesus can touch.

It's there that I felt the confidence to smile and share a little encouragement. Granted it was a simple one cluttered with micophone screeches here and there but it was good. It was simply my story that they were loved by God and had a hope in Him.

Looking into the eyes of these people as I served them I had to try to see them how God sees them. They were not just homeless people but real people whose live with their story untold.

He can see each heart broken, each dream failed, and He knows each story of how they got to be in this place on this day praying there would be enough of a meal to go around for them. Somehow there was enough food and everyone ate and we had some leftover to donate to the Salvation Army. God always seems to provide.

It felt like the very small gift I could give of serving was not enough as I drove away in my air conditioned little car. It gave me a little perspective to see that it could be worse. It seems like everytime I am about ready to complain to God about what I don't have He opens my eyes to see how very much He has given to me.

Fruit:Peace

Song in my head: No other name

Verse: Romans 8:38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Tips for Losing weight on a dime

2009-08-13T18:27:00.000-07:00

I always used to think it costs too much money to lose weight. I thought of all the programs like Weight watchers, Jenny Craig and Nutri System and found they just didn't fit into my budget. Expensive personal trainers with gym memberships just seemed impossible to afford.

How could I afford to eat healthy and exercise without those programs and a personal trainer or gym membership? I decided that not trying to be more healthy was not an option so I had to figure out creative ways to be healthy on a very limited budget.

I decided to start to work with what I had going for me. I started by looking at all my activities I did during a normal day to see where I could find that exercise I needed to be healthy and lose weight without spending money.

I found that my job five days a week of 7 and half hours of sitting at a desk, talking on the phone, using the computer didn’t burn a whole lot of calories. So I thought it through and thought what if I stand while working? I found that I could burn 300 more calories for my weight by doing my same job standing for 6 of those working hours.

For my job it was an easy transition to start standing and so I did and found I was more alert and actually doing my job better. That started me thinking of how else I could burn more calories during my work day.

I had two 15 minute breaks and a 30 minute lunch to consider. So I decided to start taking a walk on my breaks and I kept an eye open for other opportunity for exercise during the work day. This was when I discovered there was parking garage right next to my building I could burn some serious calories on.

There are six stories of ramps going up that make a great low impact powerful power walk up. I found that I could do it once on my 15 minute breaks and twice on my lunch half hour and still have 5 minutes or so to use restroom, eat and such.

My secret has been to stay to the right while walking in the parking garage to keep safe because people tend to drive slower on the way up than the way down. It has been a sacrifice give up that time on breaks to exercising but I have found that I feel so much better that it makes it worth it by losing weight.

I found having this exercise plan also benefits me costing less by taking my lunch to work and has me thinking ahead about how many calories I am eating.

Since I love to multitask I also found that I could also make call backs on my cell phone, check quick emails, and pray all while taking my hike up the parking garage. It's amazing what you can do if your determined.

Next I looked at my time outside of work and got online. I looked for opportunity to get exercise in fun ways. There are so many things to do if you just consider your area and look online.

I found Churches with Volleyball, Tennis, Softball and hiking opportunity that could be great place not only to exercise but meet some great new friends. I decided to try my hand out at Tennis and some Hiking to start and its been great.

Another place I found to get some exercise was to walk to the supermarket about a mile from my house instead of driving. Another plus to this is that you really get to see the area you live in differently on foot than driving. It's like seeing your world from another perspective. You might even find a hidden treasure of a little park nearby.

It's all about thinking about little ways to add some exercise in like when parking at a mall or supermarket far away under a shady tree instead of circling the parking lot for that spot up close.

Having found these free opportunies for exercise I looked to my food. I decided to start counting some calories more and really looking at the menu when I have to eat out. I had to have some sweet things to fulfill me but needed it to be with less calories.

I started looking for alternatives to help with cost and calories for my favorite foods. I found that I could find some serious deals for food if I looked at the ads and also at the dollar store.

The dollar store has these wonderful Lemon and Cherry flavored Italian Ice's that are only 80 calories each and you get 4 for just a dollar. I also found some great deals from supermarket ads. I found some plums for about 25 cents each on sale. I also found some great coupons online and on supermarket shelves. I got soymilk for 1.25 with coupon.

There are lots of creative ways you can look at food but it is all about being reasonable and knowing your calorie intake verses what your burning in calories. I found a great website that really helps with those calcuations. http://www.caloriesperhour.com/

My only advice with this website is to not click on the links to the right on this website because they are all ads. Try to stick to the tabs at the top of the web pages and you will figure it out. It takes a bit of time to figure out how to use the site but once you figure it out you have a goldmine of info for losing weight.

I just started this free diet and health plan two weeks ago and have already lost 7 pounds. It really seems to be working so far. I will let you know how it goes from here but it literally is costing me less to live and giving me a healthy lifestyle.

Part of this has been about having a positive attitute and a change in your mind and heart about how you think about exercise and food. I know it is tough to be disciplined but it seems that finding healthy habits are forming.

It feels good to do the right thing. Even if you fail from time to time. You just have to get back up on your feet again. I am hoping by sharing this that you could find some tips from what I have learned to hopefully help you find hope in your health journey aswell. If you have any other ideas please share them with me.

Fruit: JOY

Song in my head: Peace like a river
Verse: Isaiah 54: 2 "Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide, do not hold back; lengthen your cords, strengthen your stakes. 4 "Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth 10 Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the LORD, who has compassion on you.17 no weapon forged against you will prevail,

Ways to Save a little Money

2009-08-07T16:39:00.000-07:00

In these tough economic times it seems to have become more acceptable to be a thrifty consumer. Ten years ago or so if you were using coupons and pinching pennys the preception in some circles made you out to be cheap. Being frugal was almost a character flaw instead of an asset.

Now it seems everybody is looking for a coupon. I found myself looking for ways to save money and have found some interesting ways looking at ideas from friends and thinking up some on my own.

Having landed a job after being out of one for a month or so I looked at not spending more while being unemployed but have decided to keep my saving ways for if I don't have work. I think the key is not to believe you have it all together in this uncertain economy by spending without a purpose.

Its so easy to spend money on comfort. If your on your way to work and feeling sleepy you might want to grab a 4 dollar latte. If your feeling hot on a 100 degree day you might want to buy yourself a icy treat. If you see a 1-11 and you forgot your sunglasses and your just sure that glare might cause you to have an accident.

The problem is when budgets are tight it's the sacrifice of these little extras that add up to blowing that budget you so carefully planned down to the penny. The trick is to have alternatives to catch yourself from making those unplanned purchases out of convience or not planning ahead.

Some things I do to save money on those little unplanned purchases

Have a snack and drink box in the trunk of your car so you don't have to visit fast food when your hungry or thristy in a pinch. You can usually find ice at a gas station for free. You just need to have refillable water bottle that you can put ice and a drink in. One key to this is to make sure that the snacks are not parishable just in case you have hot car all day. In other words... nothing that melts.

Have a tote bag with some essentials in your car. You could have some things like.. asprin, bandaids, a change of clothes, shoes, sandles, sunscreen, extra pair of sunglasses, feminine hygene, Brush, nail files, and anything else you could be tempted to buy in a pinch.

Find coupons and use them. Don't just throw away that junk mail you get but actually look at the coupons. You might find something great to save you some money or give you a creative idea for a time with friends or family out.

Get a 14 dollar haircut and better yet use a coupon for it. I have to warn you though that you might have to go to a few shops that offer these to find a good stylist who will not give you a weed wacker hairdo. Once you find one though it can save you a lot of money if your female.

Make a budget for your food while your away from home and stick to it. Try to think ahead to what you will be doing for the day and plan where you will eat so you can use your money wisely. Think where will I be at lunch and can I bring it?

Buy your gas at Costco where it's a lot less expensive. Also Costco offers great food at great prices too.

It's all about thinking instead of just spending it because it's right in front of us. It seems to be those little expenses of eating out and unplanned purchases that used to get me at the end of the month. I found out that knowing where my money is going is freeing and gives you a sense of purpose and power back when you care are enough to care about the small change.

Fruit: Peace

Song in my head: Plan for me - Brandon Heath

Verse: Jer 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, Plans to give you a future and a hope

Top Ten Funky Roommate Quirks

2009-08-06T17:49:00.000-07:00

Over the years I have had several opportunities to have roommates. It's really an excellent way to learn about people and how they live. Everyone's family life growing up was different and so not everyone had the same values and ways of doing things in their homelife. It makes life interesting to try out a new way of living by learning another's style to live.

Some roommates are never home. Some stay home all the time. Some are clean and others not so clean. You find out a lot about a person when you live with them. Here are the top ten funky traits I have found in some of my roommates and some I have just heard about.

1. Roommate who has an imaginary friend

2. Roommate who sheds (literally hair everywhere)

3. Roommate who talks constantly about their love of spam

4. Roommate who sneaks up from around the corner to claw your leg (crazy feline)

5. Roommate who tells you they have cancer and they really don't

6. Roommate who was so sheltered they think making microwave popcorn at midnight is an exciting riskay event

7. Roommate who can fart song Jingle bells suprizingly well

8. Roommate who flirts with your blind date before you meet them (happened to me)

9. Roommate who spends hours making homemade dog food for their boyfriends dog

10. Roommate who plucks their nose hair in front of you

Really it's amazing the funny things we all have about us but in reality we are all just people and one persons normal can be totally different from another persons reality.

I think it's good we are all different because if we were all the same it would be a bore. Finding he humor in your roommate challenges is really the best way to get through those things.

Fruit: Peace

Song in my head: Blessed be your name - Tree 63

Verse: Ephesians 4:2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

I just got a tan...

2009-08-03T19:34:00.000-07:00

For those who are wondering… I didn’t fall off the face of the planet I just got a tan.

I’ve just experienced a world of change to my world in just a couple of months. I went from being a wet Washington Expedia travel working gal to being a blazing hot (at times) and crispy golden/reddish girl on the Sunnyvale California Stanford University working trail.

If you can understand that sentence than you deserve a cookie.

I grew up in sunny southern California and had decided to head north for the Evergreen state about 9 years ago. Since then I have been missing the sun and wanting a fresh start, I ventured back into the land of the sun (California) just about a month or so ago. I ventured here knowing only 1 person without a safety net really.

It’s such an amazing thing to be in the place where you are venturing out into the unknown and where you could be totally setting yourself up for big belly flop into the pool.

When I was little girl I remember what the belly flops felt like. It stung at first but when the red went away you just laughed at the silly sound they made.

I think in life there are big belly flops and little ones too. I had one that hurt quite a bit after being here a couple of weeks but I think the key is to learn from them. I am learning that God teaches me in my challenges and trials that I don’t have to be perfect and that He loves me just as I am.

It’s His opinion of me that matters most and I can’t look to any one person to know how awesome He made me to be. I just have to keep running the race and move on not listening to any voice that tells me to stop, give up, or that I am not good enough. I have to know that I am good enough and I am His “best” because He made me “His” when I said “yes” to Jesus.

Even after a road block I decided to jump in the pool and stay here in sunny California. I may have a lot in common with the song on the radio I keep hearing but I am going to keep blazing the trail.

The song goes “Cause I got a couple dents in my fender,, Got a couple rips in my jeans, Try to fit the pieces together But perfection is my enemy, On my own I'm so clumsy, But on Your shoulders I can see, I'm free to be me.”

There are some things I decided I am going to do in my new adventure that I would like to share. I think following your passions and just going for your dreams just has to happen at least once in your life. So I am going to spend some of my time following my dream to write and working on me too.

I have started writing the book that I feel will help women who are divorcing or divorced. It will have some great practical help along with some great stories of other women to encourage them so they know they can make it through the valley. I want women to know they are NOT ALONE and can face a new life again filled with future and a hope.

I am a living breathing testimony of Gods rebuilding process but He is still rebuilding me. So I decided to make a goal of being healthy physically as well.

I have a goal that I want to reach by January 1, 2010 in losing weight and becoming more fit. I will not be completely done with my health journey by then but I made a choice to start making short term goals and getting serious about taking care of the body God gave me.

So I am following a dream, working on the physical and getting a tan without a safety net.
My safety net has to be found in the peace of knowing I am in the hands of a loving God who knows me by name.

I know His peace which flows like a river inside of me. It lets me float for awhile when I look up.

I can’t look at my version of reality or worry about the future. I just have to just trust and know that God has my best interest at heart.

Fruit:Joy
Song in my head: Peace like a river

Verse: Hebrews 13: 8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

Cinnamon drip coffee iced

2009-05-20T14:26:00.000-07:00

There is something peaceful in a world of caos about a coffee house afternoon. Its time well spent taking a step out of the reality of the world’s issues which wait outside.

You can enter in with a rush of fresh breath of the wonderful aroma that gives you a little joy inside to smell.

There is a peace while sitting in a room with a cushy couch, cozy music in the background and soothe cup of Joe by your side while you surf the internet, people watch, read, or just stare at that pretend fire place in the corner.

There are a few things in life you just can't cut out when there is a budget you are keeping to. One of those is that cup of Joe at a coffee house.

For the job seeker without a office to go to it feels like you are going someplace. You have an appointment with that office of Joe to do your daily hunt for that job you seek.

Maybe the wife can drop off that crazy 4 year old to preschool for four hours of peace. The lonely traveler and business man can find some comfort in the presence of people all around even if there to scared to strike up a conversation.

You can do it pretty inexpensively too. I have a little secret I will share. I like coffee cold sometimes yet it seems that when you order it iced or blended its twice as much as a little drip coffee.

So I order it by saying I would like the drip coffee of the day over ice and then add some cream, cinnamon and Spenda myself from the side bar. Its a little messy mixing in the cinnamon sometimes but half the price and still quite yummie.

I guess there really isn't an point to my observation other than there are few places in this life we can get a little time away to have some peace. Peace comes at small price in the coffee house but maybe it's even less expensive at a place of worship.

Looking for that peace in the places with wireless internet and some coffee can work for a little bit but for that lasting peace you really have to look up. You have to look up to see there is a God who can give you that peace you find in whatever sanctuary you have been going to for a place of rescue.

You can go to the bar, the coffee house, the restaurant, or hide at home but that peace is temporary and you have to wonder out sometime to the real world. God provides a lasting peace for when you walk out of the coffee house you can still feel a bit like you are in still in it.

It's really hard to trust God when the world seems so grey sometimes but there is something beautiful in the sunny days God has provided that can bring you hope of a future He provides.

Even if the sky is grey today I believe in the rainbow because I have seen it before. I know it will come again. I trust in God that the sun will shine again and believe in the God who made it all for me.

I've got peace like a river, I've got peace like a river
I've got peace like a river in my soul. In my soul.

Fruit: Peace
Song in my head: Peace like a river
Verse: Psalm 46:10 Be still and know that I am God...

Who I want to be like

2009-04-17T06:17:00.000-07:00

Amazing Animals God made

2009-04-02T08:12:00.000-07:00

Flights to Mars on Expedia

2009-04-01T09:21:00.000-07:00

Growing from the crack

2009-03-31T21:59:00.000-07:00

One day while walking along a downtown street in a bad part of East Los Angeles California several years ago sad from my worries I saw a sight that made me smile and wonder in awe of it. I saw a beautiful perfect purple flower growing in the smallest of cracks in the asphalt in the middle of this ugly street.

It was a perfect picture to me of how amazing God is. It wasn't by chance that this beautiful flowers seed blew on the breeze for so long far away from any others to land in that crack. How amazing that there was just enough soil and just enough water so it could grow in this wasteland.

Somehow in the midst of its surrounding God made it grow. Somehow cars missed driving over it and somehow it survived beyond it's circumstances.

Sometimes I feel like I am that flower. Sometimes I feel like I am surrounded by bad news on the news and negitive people looking sourly at the outlook for life as we know it to the point of losing hope. It's like if you have a piece of good news you don't feel like you can share it when the outlook is so dim for the world and the people in it.

Who wants to hear of your little joys when their sorrows are so big for the world? You can have a inner party for the little blessing you have going on in your life but at some point you want to share it. You want others to see there is a hope in you and something that makes you see that sun and grow in the midst of that crack in the ground. See the sun today and grow even if your stuck with just a little soil trying to sprout in that crack in the ground.

Fruit:Peace

Verse: I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens me

Song in my head: As the Deer

Do you have a Ruff?

2009-03-15T18:07:00.000-07:00

When I was a little girl the light of my life was my grandmother. She was a precious woman who loved me unconditionally and gave her heart to me. She was an open door with a huge hug waiting for me inside. I could melt into those arms that would unfold for me to fall into when I scarped my knee or just needed some encouragement.

When my grandmother got cancer when I was 11 and passed away it tore me away from the joy I knew in her hugs. She left behind for me though a bit of her comfort. It was in one of the gifts my grandmother gave to me before she died. It was a piece of her to keep and hold in those times when I just needed a hug and someone to cry with. It was this huge stuffed dog that I so creatively name Ruff.

I couldn’t ever part with Ruff during all the challenges in my life. It’s silly really to think of a grown woman with a stuffed dog she sometimes lets herself cry with. I don’t care though because I know the love behind the stuffed animal is really what is comforting me in those times I need that bit of relief.

Life is messy and full of stresses and everyday little troubles that can leave you feeling like you need a good cry every once and awhile. The key is to let yourself recognize you need to stop and let it happen. Take out that Ruff and cry for a bit and move on.

Another thing my grandma taught me was that there was a God I could pray to and find the peace I needed to move past those good cry times. Ruff is the doll that I hug but he only symbolizes the comfort and peace I seek. Gods love takes me to that place of perfect peace after I lose my worries and let God take them. He can take yours too if you would just let Him.

Fruit: Peace
Song in my head: Jesus loves me
Verse: Psalm 71: 20 Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up. 21 You will increase my honor and comfort me once again. 22 I will praise you with the harp for your faithfulness, O my God; I will sing praise to you with the lyre, O Holy One of Israel.

Staying strong

2009-03-06T05:49:00.000-08:00

Encouragement comes only when you listen for it.. here is a song that gave it to me..

You're in the moment now
A bitter root A wandering eye
and then The ties that bind start wearing thin, thin
You're in the moment now
When all you've been blessed with Is not enough
Here's where the ground gets loose
Here's where the devils call your bluff

Stay strong You are not lost
Come on and fix your eyes ahead
There's a new dawn to light our day, our day
You've gotta stay strong

You and I run For the prize that lies ahead
We've come too far to lose our way, our way
We've seen the tragic flaws
The tortured souls The saints with feet of clay
Here's where sin becomes cliche'
We've come through wilderness and watched
The cloud by day The burning sky into dawn

Have you forgotten who you are?
Did you forget whose trip you're on?
Stay strong You are not lost
Come on and fix your eyes ahead
There's a new dawn to light our day, our day
We've gotta stay strong
You and I run For the prize that lies ahead
We've come too far to lose our way, our way

Get up, there's further to go
Get up, there's more to be done
Get up, this witness is sure
Get up, this race can be won
This race can be won
We've gotta stay strong
You are not lost

Come on and fix your eyes ahead
Our Father's dawn will light our day, our day
Come on and stay strong
His grip is sure
And His patience still endures
There'll be no letting go today, no way
Come on, and stay strong
You and I run For the prize that lies ahead

We've come too far to lose our way, our way

Fruit: Peace
Song in my head: Stay strong -Newsboys
Verse:Philippians 3:14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Feeding the dog

2009-02-24T19:48:00.001-08:00

Which dog are you feeding today? I was thinking about this today and decided to try it out as a thought in the back of my mind while going through my day.

Last night at my small group meeting my friend Mary brought up an old saying that I had forgotten. It has to do with a white dog and a black dog. The black dog represents the bad things you do to yourself and wrong or sins you do. The white dog is the good things you do in your life and represents your relationship with God.

So my question to myself on the way home from group last night made me think of which dog I was feeding. In the end the dog with the most food wins the fight for my peace and growth.

So today I took an intentional approach to see a picture of who I was feeding to see how the day went. It is amazing how evident your trials and little things you need to go through in a day can become when you acknowledge them. It seems like that old saying just keeps being true that when you bring things that you struggle with to the light they die there so you can move quickly to the blessing of growing from those little trials in everyday life.

So here is to feeding the White dog who has your best interest at heart. He is a sweet puppy with boundless energy and health ready to blaze the trail. Feeding him most today really just made my day. I fed him today by spending time with God reading His word eating healthy and going to the gym for my physical self. If only I could do it everyday.

Fruit: Joy

Song in my head: If I were a... (kids song I cant remember the name of)

Verse: Jeremiah 29:11-13 “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”

On top of the clouds

2009-02-23T21:14:00.000-08:00

Looking up at the grey clouds above me on my drive home from work today I couldn’t help but wonder. It felt like the day had brought these dark clouds in that went on forever. The sky so dark had made the day dreary and long. It felt like I was stuck under this big sky of dark clouds that went on forever without a break.

Driving down the road on my way from Tacoma to Olympia Washington I started to see a little part in between the darkness. It started as a little beam of light peeking through so I could see a sweet little taste of the sun on the other side of those dark clouds hiding the light. It slowly opened just a bit wider and yet a bit more to reveal a glimpse of the glory of a beautiful blue sky with light all around.

I could tell that the sun was always shining on the other side of those clouds. But when my eyes could only see those dark clouds on a glance I had stopped looking up believing I wouldn’t see the light all day. Seeing that opening up in the sky made me think of how I would love to fly up there and dance around on top of the clouds for a bit. It would be great to be free to fly up there and feel the sun on my face. Maybe then I could feel the Son.

Have you ever felt like you were on the wrong side of the clouds on a dreary day? Have you ever felt like you were stuck there? I felt like this today. Then as I saw the sun peeking through and theblue sky it made me remember that the sun is always shining on the other side.

God’s love is like the Sun. It’s always there shining bright on the other side that I can’t always see from where I am at. I just have to look past those dark clouds all around and realize it is always there for me. I just have to keep doing that next right thing to see it.

If I do that and open my eyes and yet close them at the same time I can see His love is here and now always there for me shining His light so I can dance free in it. So even when I can’t see it I can believe it is there. CS lewis wrote “I believe in Christianity just as I believe the sun has risen, not only because I can see it but because by it I see everything else”.

Fruit: Peace
Song in my head: Everlasting God – Lincoln Brewster

Verse: Proverbs 18:15 The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge; the ears of the wise seek it out.

Perfect Love casts out all fear

2009-02-20T20:44:00.000-08:00

“He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.”- Proverbs 17:9

The grace of God is like an ocean so vast and deep that it can not be imagined. I can try to think it through but there is absolutely no sense to it. I was thinking about grace today. Most likely this is because, the Lord knows I truely need it

There are so many ways we can fail God and not live up to the expectations we have for ourselves to be the best version of ourselves in a Christian life yet we are clean and forgiven

I think it is sometimes harder for us to have grace for ourselves and to let God give us His grace. It's like we have a need to punish ourselves because we can not fathom a loving forgiving God. It is amazing that He is everywhere seeing all of our failures yet is giving us grace and not loving us less for even one second.

He grace is showing us how to love and not to fear it. His perfect love casts out all fear and doubt. Even when we are not strong enough or think we are not good enough we can trust. He knows we can't do it alone and is by our side. We just have try to do the next right thing everyday.

Fruit:Love

Song in my head: Only grace - Matthew West

Verse: 2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

Fish kisses

2009-01-29T20:24:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I feel like Im a fish swimming quickly to the surface for a breath of life to releave the stress of holding my breath when I hit something.

I hit a clear window just before I get to the surface. It doesn't allow me to get to the clear blue sky that I can see through the window just before air above the water. I know if I could just get past it I would breathe again easily and have some relief.

Yet again I have to keep holding my breath sitting there waiting for that window to open. It seems like a cruel joke of God for that window to be clear because it lets me see the world above that could releave me just above the waters I'm swimming in.

It holds me back. It's hard to be so close to see through the water, through the window and have to turn back realizing the window isn't open for me to swim through so I can catch my breath. I just have to keep holding my breath swimming and praying that I have the breath and strength inside me to keep swimming.

As I am at my last swimming and feeling exhausted and weary is when I realize that I have to pray for the breath of God to breathe new life into me. I can't survive on my own as a fish in this sea. Maybe it's all about stopping swimming and just being still looking for that spirit of God to give me some mouth to mouth resitation.

Only a God who loves me would kiss this fish with a breath of life and give it away without any cost. Jesus never ceases to amaze me. He sits calmly by while we are swimming just patiently waiting for us to stop and embrace the peace He has for us.

Fruit: Peace
Song in my head: Savior Please - Josh Wilson

Verse: Luke 24:41 - 40When he had said this, he showed them his hands and feet. 41And while they still did not believe it because of joy and amazement, he asked them, "Do you have anything here to eat?" 42They gave him a piece of broiled fish, 43and he took it and ate it in their presence.

On the dock with Jesus

2009-01-15T21:07:00.000-08:00

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to lay down at the end of a dock to stare at the Stars on a clear night with a real live breathing Jesus laying right next to you admiring them too?

I hadn't even fathomed this thought tell I read it recently in a book I have been reading called "The Shack". I can't give away the plot but I have to say that this thought of a simple time admiring the beauty of a clear night of stars with God in the flesh next to me sounded wonderful.

I love nature and love how it just proves to me how beautiful God must be to have created it. The thought of a live living breathing Jesus to hug and smile right in the flesh next to me sounded like such a treasure. I wonder what it must have been like for the apostles who got to hug Him every day.

The touch of God can be so real sometimes it feels like it is in the flesh but there is something to that warm feel of a hug from a person. I think God must use people to be His arms here on earth but I still think in awe of the thought of what it would have been like to get a human hug from an earthly Jesus right here on earth.

It is like friends that are far away. You can talk on the phone but it is something more when you can look into their eyes so that you can see into their lives and hearts.

I know that Jesus isn't far away even if we can't physically touch Him. Yet I still think it would be nice to be laying down next to Him staring at the stars and asking "so why did you create that one?" or some other silly question that He could smile and answer with "because I am God".

Fruit: JOY
Song in my head: Sitting On The Dock Of The Bay Lyrics - Otis Redding
Verse:Psalm 46: 10 "Be still, and know that I am God;

Looking for something...

2009-01-12T23:05:00.000-08:00

Do you ever feel like you need to go to work to find rest from the weekend? I felt like that Sunday night. I had a full weekend where I felt drained from it. Even praying I thought "are they even my words...?"

What happened?... I had to ask myself as I realized I was feeling down at work this Monday morning. Waking up this morning I had full intention to look ahead with my opening prayer for it to be a day I reasoned better in comparison to the weekend.

I had wondered how my decisions from this weekend could have kept me from a blessing. I had tried to let that go knowing a compassionate God could forgive my indecison that led to my choices.

I could name some seemingly silly endless list of things that had gone wrong over the weekend to the sheer embarrassment of my weakness I wouldn't share not wanting to be seen as a complainer which makes me almost never complain.

However... there were several little inconviences and stupid decisions that I made over the weekend that had me feeling like I wished God had made me different. It is hard to be flawed and human.

Sometimes I just wish I could be an angel. I had opened up with a prayer for the day today like I usually do but it just went downhill from there. I had tried to turn it around.

I had gotten a full nights sleep for the first time this weekend. I had fully prepared with a shower Sunday night. I had put my clothes out ready to jump into the morning groove. I thought I had done everything in my power that I could to make my day start out to be one where I was ready to start off the week on a positive note.

What had I forgotten? Where had I gone wrong? My weekend rebellion from what I could have done to accomplish things as to what I wanted to do as to what I should have done as to what I actually did made me see I need to start trusting my instincts more.

I realized that it is my true instincts that I need to trust and not let those ones that try to creep in creep. My true instincts come from the spirit of God inside me. That other instinct of a sinful nature only creeps in to try and steal or destroy my peace when I let it.

I have to listen to that still small little voice amidst the crowd telling me what is right for me to do. I just need to just DO THE NEXT RIGHT THING and not worry so much about the future and I need to LISTEN to the voice of reason.

I found that next right thing I was searching for once I started looking in the right place. I found my peace when I studied Ephesians reading Pauls prayer like it was a prayer for me.

A Prayer for the Ephesians Eph 3:14For this reason I kneel before the Father, 15from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. 16I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. 20Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen

It's Gods love that takes me back and turns my weakness into strength, my mourning into dancing and my attitude around. It is only when I choose to do the next right thing in His direction that I find fulfullment and joy.

So in those times when I am reaching for something feeling empty needing something but just can't figure out what will bring me peace I have to remember that a gentle love from God is there for me.

I just need to look for it instead of what the world would tell me to. I need to look in that great book God gave us to give us those answers and peace we are searching everywhere in the world for but can find if we simply seek Him first.

Fruit: Gentleness

Song in my head: As the Deer

Verse: Ephesians 3:18may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

I've Got The Joy Joy Joy... Where?

2009-01-10T09:46:00.000-08:00

Finding Joy in this day and age can be difficult at times so in those rare moments that Joy just reaches up and grabs you it's important to remember to let it.

On the way to work this morning Spirit 105.3 Radio station just really hit home. Every song they played from 6am to 7am on my way to work just blessed my socks off. Of course I wouldn't want my socks off due to that chilly morning air but just loved a wonderful joyful time of worship.

They played...
Josh Wilson - Savior, Please
Tree63 - Blessed Be Your Name
Jars Of Clay - Love Song For A Savior
Matthew West - Something To Say
Laura Story - Mighty To Save
Newsboys - I'm Not Ashamed
David Crowder Band - Wholly Yours
Third Day - Call My Name
Chris Tomlin - Indescribable

It was awesome with some great Kid stories mixed it. I am so blessed by Spirit 105.3 sometimes when it just hits the spot. Worship takes you back and turns you around to see the creator instead of yourself. It's something beautiful that can't be measured.
Fruit: JOY
Song in my head: Something Beautiful - Newsboys - I've got the Joy
Verses: Psalm 94:19 When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul. Psalm 95:1 Come, let us sing for joy to the LORD; let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation Psalm 96:12 let the fields be jubilant, and everything in them. Then all the trees of the forest will sing for joy; Psalm 97:11 Light is shed upon the righteous and joy on the upright in heart. Psalm 98:4 Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth, burst into jubilant song with music; Psalm 98:6 with trumpets and the blast of the ram's horn— shout for joy before the LORD, the King. Psalm 98:8 Let the rivers clap their hands, Let the mountains sing together for joy;

Dancing with God

2009-01-05T18:44:00.000-08:00

Turn me around Lord I'm not looking at you, I keep turning in the wrong direction. Teach me how to dance.

Wisk me off my feet. Grab my hand and pull me close. Lead me on the dance floor.

Hold me tight and spin me fast making the world a blur. I will spin so fast that all I can see is you.

Let me see what you want me to see. Help me to be what you want me to be.

Then slow me down so I can rest. Turning slowly I can see. I can see your best right before me.

Fruit: Joy

Song in my Head: Savior King

Verse: Matthew 22:37 Love the Lord your God with all of your heart, with all of your mind and with all of your strength

Seeing through her eyes

2009-01-01T12:32:00.000-08:00

Have you ever found pen in your possession and wondered how in the world you got it? I get so busy sometimes I forget where I pick things up. I found a pen in my purse while paying at the grocery store and wondered where I got it today. Everyday we have little things that happen to us that we could miss if we don't stop and look around once and awhile.

There are so many little everyday things we do as we go throughout the day that can seem like meaningless parts of our existance. I drove to the store walked around looking for that one thing I came for but ended up finding some other things and got in line. Then I ended up in line remembering what I actually came for and got out of line to go to get it.

On a mission to get that one last thing I bumped into the cart of the elderly woman who was not in the slightest bit of a hurry. Her beautiful weathered face smiled as she saw me rushing when I said "exuse me". I walked on quickly but as I got into my car I thought later of her face as she smiled looking after me. I thought of how she must be remembering her days of being younger and in a hurry.

She must have thought "if they only knew they would slow down and look around". We need to look around to see that woman who is lonely needing someone to just take the time to say hello and invest just a bit of Gods love into her.

Thinking of one of my favorite songs lately by Brandon Heath I hummed a bit... "give me your eyes so I can see... all that I have been missing... give me your love for humanity.."

I was thinking of this elderly woman out there in the supermarket with her eyes reaching out looking for companionship. There are alot of lonely people in the world who don't have a loving God to fill that need inside.

We just have to take the time to stop, slow down and reach out. We have been given so much love from God and have so much to give. There are so many who need it. We need to give it away everyday even in our hurried moments because truely there are no meaningless parts to our exsistance. Each act of the day matters to a God who cares for us as much as we should care for others.

Fruit: Love

Song in my head: All the Loney People - Beatles & Give me your eyes- Brandon Heath

Verse: Psalm 68: 5 A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. 6 God sets the lonely in families, he leads forth the prisoners with singing;

Journeys in the snow

2008-12-24T17:36:00.000-08:00

Oh, the weather outside is frightful, But the fire is so delightful, Since we've no place to go, Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow,

It doesn't show signs of stopping, And I've brought some corn for poppingThe lights are turned way down low, Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow,

When we finally kiss good night, How I'll hate going out in the storm, But if you really hold me tight, All the way home I'll be warm,

Fire is slowly dying, And, my dear, we're still goodbying, As long as you love me so, Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow,

The snow has been so beautiful this last week but having to travel in it has not been the best with going to work. It took me twice as long and was a bit scary. Through it though I was truely blessed in seeing the best in some people come out in the snow.

We had a wonderful neighbor come and use his tractor to clear the over foot of snow off our driveway the other day. It's great to have neighbors. Sometimes when times are tougher people just pull together to show love for no reason.

I got stuck in the snow two times this last week and both times people with big trucks pulled over and helped me. It amazes me how friendly the people of Washington are sometimes. They aren't just walking by but going out of their way to help each other.

Now that I am on vacation looking at the snow from the inside out. I would love to sing "let it snow" but still there are the Christmas travelers to think of. Once my company arrives "Let it snow... let it snow... let it snow.". :)

I'm thankful tonight for Mary and her obedience and heart as I think about her journey. Her joy must have been overwhelming to see Jesus for the first time.

Fruit: JOY

Song in my head: Let it snow

Verse: Luke 2:16-20 So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.”-

What is inside You?

2008-12-14T00:46:00.001-08:00

Watch this video all the way through....

If you listen to the heartbeat of things you can hear whats truely inside. You can tell someone you love them but what is the song they will hear when they listen to the message your heart sings? Does your heart sing of the love you have for a God inside?

He is always ready waiting to hear your heart sing for Him

Fruit: Joy
Song in my head: Everlasting God - Lincoln Brewster
Verse:2 Corinthians 4:6For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.

Wrapping Presents with a Cat

2008-12-13T00:50:00.000-08:00

I read this on my friend Kelly's Blog and thought it was so funny I would post it here... Lighten up a bit for the holiday and wrap with a cat...

Here are step by step instructions to wrapping a present when you own a cat.

Clear large space on table for wrapping present. Go to closet and collect bag in which present is contained, and shut door. Open door and remove cat from closet. Go to cupboard and retrieve rolls of wrapping paper.

Go back and remove cat from cupboard. Go to drawer, and collect transparent sticky tape, ribbons, scissors, labels, etc.. Lay out presents and wrapping materials on table, to enable wrapping strategy to be formed. Go back to drawer to get string, remove cat that has been in the drawer since last visit and collect string. Remove present from bag. Remove cat from bag.

Open box to check present, remove cat from box, replace present. Lay out paper to enable cutting to size. Try and smooth out paper, realize cat is underneath and remove cat.

Cut the paper to size, keeping the cutting line straight. Throw away first sheet as cat chased the scissors, and tore the paper. Cut second sheet of paper to size - by putting cat in the bag the present came in.

Place present on paper. Lift up edges of paper to seal in present. Wonder why edges don't reach. Realize cat is between present and paper. Remove cat.

Place object on paper, to hold in place while tearing transparent sticky tape. Spend 20 minutes carefully trying to remove transparent sticky tape from cat with pair of nail scissors. Seal paper with sticky tape, making corners as neat as possible.

Look for roll of ribbon. Chase cat down hall in order to retrieve ribbon. Try to wrap present with ribbon in a two-directional turn. Re-roll ribbon and remove paper, which is now torn due to cat's enthusiastic ribbon chase.

Repeat steps 13-20 until you reach last sheet of paper. Decide to skip steps 13-17 in order to save time and reduce risk of losing last sheet of paper. Retrieve old cardboard box that is the right size for sheet of paper.

Put present in box, and tie down with string. Remove string, open box and remove cat. Put all packing materials in bag with present and head for locked room.

Once inside lockable room, lock door and start to relay out paper and materials. Remove cat from box, unlock door, put cat outside door, close and relock. Repeat previous step as often as is necessary (until you can hear cat from outside door)
Lay out last sheet of paper. (This will be difficult in the small area of the toilet, but do your best)

Discover cat has already torn paper. Unlock door go out and hunt through various cupboards, looking for sheet of last year's paper. Remember that you haven't got any left because cat helped with this last year as well.

Return to lockable room, lock door, and sit on toilet and try to make torn sheet of paper look presentable. Seal box, wrap with paper and repair by very carefully sealing with sticky tape. Tie up with ribbon and decorate with bows to hide worst areas.

Label. Sit back and admire your handiwork, congratulate yourself on completing a difficult job. Unlock door, and go to kitchen to make drink and feed cat. Spend 15 minutes looking for cat until coming to obvious conclusion. Unwrap present, untie box and remove cat. Go to store and buy a gift bag.

Cats can bring a laugh and a mess sometimes but they are a joy when they are sitting in your lap purring. I don't have a cat now and kind of miss the funny antic's they create. Wrapping with a cat can sure seem impossible. Believing for impossible things can sometimes be funny to us but we have to always remember Sarah.

Fruit: JoY :)
Song in my head: Silent night
Verse Genesis 18:10Then the LORD said, "I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife will have a son." Now Sarah was listening at the entrance to the tent, which was behind him. 11 Abraham and Sarah were already old and well advanced in years, and Sarah was past the age of childbearing. 12 So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought, "After I am worn out and my master is old, will I now have this pleasure?" 13 Then the LORD said to Abraham, "Why did Sarah laugh and say, 'Will I really have a child, now that I am old?' 14 Is anything too hard for the LORD ? I will return to you at the appointed time next year and Sarah will have a son." 15 Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, "I did not laugh." But he said, "Yes, you did laugh." (be careful what you pray for... you just might get it! :)

Christmas Love

2008-12-12T05:37:00.000-08:00

Symbolism of The Twelve Days of Christmas

1 True Love refers to God
2 Turtle Doves refers to the Old and New Testaments
3 French Hens refers to Faith, Hope and Charity, the Theological Virtues
4 Calling Birds refers to the Four Gospels and/or the Four Evangelists
5 Golden Rings refers to the first Five Books of the Old Testament, the "Pentateuch", which gives the history of man's fall from grace.
6 Geese A-laying refers to the six days of creation
7 Swans A-swimming refers to the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit, the seven sacraments
8 Maids A-milking refers to the eight beatitudes
9 Ladies Dancing refers to the nine Fruits of the Holy Spirit
10 Lords A-leaping refers to the ten commandments
11 Pipers Piping refers to the eleven faithful apostles
12 Drummers Drumming refers to the twelve points of doctrine in the Apostle's Creed

Here is to counting down the 12 days before Christmas! I came across this description for the song the 12 days tell Christmas and learned a bit about where the song comes from. God's love is our True first love.

Fruit: Love
Song in my head: Marys Boy Child - Boney M
Verse: Ephesians 1:9And he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, 10to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment—to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ.

Living Stones Village in China

2008-12-08T05:42:00.000-08:00

Chance Encounters with Courageous People

2008-11-29T21:06:00.000-08:00

This thanksgiving I decided to take a bit of drive into the city. I had some afternoon Thanksgiving plans but I just needed a bit of a drive. I was thinking about some of my own challenges and wondering what path I would take on them.

That's when I decided to look for a coffee shop that was open. I started driving to one of my favorites and passed by seeing it was dark wondering if I would find an open one. I drove by another and it was closed too. Just as I had rounded the block to head home I saw a sign in a window of a little hole in the wall coffee shop that said "We are open".

I smiled and couldn't believe I found a parking spot just a few doors away. I paid the meter for 15 minutes even though I didn't know if it was charging for holiday's thinking I would be in and out. I walked up to the door with the confidence of a woman on a mission for some hot peppermint tea not thinking anything of my odd Thanksgiving day adventure.

Then I opened the door and saw a beautiful sight. It was a room filled with beautiful people of many life cultures and from all walks of life in a huge circle. There was a man sharing something that seemed serious and I felt instantly like I was an intruder in some family gathering. I thought I had seen that open sign in the window but maybe it was open for this group of people only I wondered.

Somehow I stumbled a bit past the entryway in my insecurity and found my way through this large group of people to the counter in the back of the room. I saw a man sitting on a stool and whispered "are they open?". He shook his head yes and I asked what was going on." He said "narcotics anonymous meeting". I was a bit shocked and feeling very out of place having stumbled into a world I had never encountered before but I was curious.

I wanted to know what made these people so different from me. I wanted to know how they got there and what made them get out of bed and come here on a Thanksgiving morning to give support to each other. So I decided I needed to stay, sit and listen. God was trying to teach me something about hope.

I have someone who I know who is an alcholic that I have been praying for and wondered if they would ever seek help. Seeing these people gave me a hope and a renewed sense of urgency to pray and have trust that God can do it in their life too.

As I heard these peoples stories and sharing I couldn't help but find a sense of how incredibly courageous they were. Because of their trials and the hurts they had gone through in life they had ended up in this place. The thing about it was that became apparent to me was that they were on a journey and had a savior carrying them through on it.

These people had made a choice to stop and change. They were as couragous to me as our men who go to battle on the front lines. Near the end of their meeting I followed their example and said my name and told them I had just happened upon their meeting and thanked them for letting me see some courageous people giving me hope for those I know struggling with the same types of issues and I encouraged them keep going. I believe in never regretting not saying something and I am glad I did even though I was almost shaking for fear of speaking in the meeting. I walked out thanking God for my blessings and chance encounters with couragous people.

Fruit: Love

Song in my head: Give me your Eyes- Brandon Heath

Verse:Psalm 5:11 But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you.

HOPE for Type 2 II Diabetes

2008-11-28T11:20:00.000-08:00

When I started out my journey two years ago I was a broken woman getting divorce weighing 225 pounds over my estimated body weight for a woman my size. I had an A1C at 8.0 with cholesterol of 211. I had high blood pressure and was in a serious danger zone diagnosed with Type II diabetes. My doctor was real with me and said I needed to make some serious life choices if I wanted to continue to live.

The doctors sharing my need for change was a whole new world for me of medication and numbers telling me how I needed to change. It was a world of keeping track of my food, painful checking of my blood sugars, and caring about myself while dealing with emotional trama. There is always a bit of hurt when your making a drastic change in lifestyle. I knew that there was a hope that the doctor hadn’t shared about that day that would get me through.

He prescribed all kinds of medications to heal me enough that I could live but I knew there was something more that was actually going to get me to live and thrive. I knew there was that drive that would take me on this journey to health. I knew that drivers name and that is what got me where I am today.

Truly I had to do my own thing to get better because I can be a headstrong woman who doesn’t like to do things the way people tell her to. I like to do things differently in my own unique way. It can frustrate people in my life that I sometimes look for a different way and try to approach things differently. In this case I had no choice to but to dig deeper and find out why I had gotten to this point so I could move forward and live.

I had to take a honest look at all the things that had brought me to that point so I could find out where I had gone wrong so I could choose to change it and turn it around. I looked at the healing journey I had taken for five years during my marriage of healing from sexual abuse that happened when I was a child. I looked at the marriage journey that had just ended with me feeling like I had failed myself and God. I looked at my struggles with learning disabilities, self esteem and relationships. When I looked at all these trials in my life I found that the way I had gotten through them all was through my addiction to food.

Food was a safe comfort when I was a hurting little girl lost without knowing what to do in the dark with a secret of the abuse. Food kept me chubby providing a layer of protection from men and boys who I thought wouldn’t want me physically if I kept eating. It didn’t always work having that layer of protection but most of the time it did.

It didn’t work when I got married and now divorced. So in the end I had to make a choice to get focused and pursue my health like my life depended upon it because it now did. I needed to shed my layer of protection if I was ever going to be truely free.

There wasn’t any question of how or when or if I started. I just had to start Now and never give up until I had finished this race and won the prize of a life of peace that I desperately wanted. I was not sure how to start so I just started.

I had to start making healthy choice, after healthy choice, after healthy choice. After having not worked for 6 years outside of the home God planted the first blessing in my garden. I got a full time job within 2 weeks of making a final determination that we were getting a divorce in 2006. I knew I didn’t have a college degree or work history and was severely overweight so for me to find a job that fit me so uniquely well was amazing and beyond what I could have asked for. It was a job where I could sit or stand for 10 hour days 4 days a week. It was the most physically I had done for work in many years but it was a start.

The next step I took to be healthy was to start tackling the huge amount of paperwork and financial aspect of divorce proceedings. I got everything done for my divorce and filed in January of 2007 and had it completed by April 2007. During this time I found that I could work off my emotional impact through my new disciplines of working out physically.

It was a healthy way to work out my pain. The emotional impact was there but because I had this inner drive that kept me passionately burning the midnight oil literally and figuratively to become a healthy person that I had actually never been I had some peace in the midst of my storm. I will share what that drive was that kept me going in a bit.

Physically how I did it was through new disciplines that I never had before. For me food had to become something that was for me to be eating to live and not living to eat. I stopped eating because I needed emotional comfort and started depending on the drive I had inside for strength to choose to live. This was not easy and it does not mean I am perfect in this area but that drive that I will share about later is what made me see I didn’t have to be perfect in order to be successful.

Literally I stopped eating what was normal to me. I started eating bars for diabetics that my doctor recommended that gave me all the nutrition I needed for the day. Basically I ate 2 of these bars a day, vitamins, water, 100 calorie snack packets and very little else. I exercised every night for an hour of cardio on a treadmill that I had bought that could handle my weight.

I lived at night working the afternoon to 10 or 11pm shift so that I combated my night cravings and lonelyness. I lost the first 100 pounds in without realizing it was gone which was actually good for me.

Not everything in this journey was roses and most of the time there were so many scars on my fingers from the thorns of this journey I wondered if I was getting well. But finally 9 months after I went to the doctor and they said. "We can lower your dosages your doing better".
I found a glimpse of hope and knew my lifestyle changes were working.

That is when I crashed into the wall. I got really excited and made some choices that were not healthy. I got excited and impatient. I started to want my job that was halfway there done right away. I had caught a glimpse of a free life and wanted it. I started extreme dieting basically not eating and exercising off the charts. I had gotten excited and took it to the extreme. My body started shutting down and I had a major meltdown. I had to quit my job and then lost hope.

In the summer of 2007 I crashed and burned mentally and physically ending up with a mental illness as well as being type 2 diabetic. This is when I had to find the drive again that I had lost somewhere along the way that was truly my source of strength. It was when I had started to depend on myself to do everything and give myself all the credit for what good was going on in my life that I crashed.

I had to go back and look to what had been by my side my whole life through every trial I had faced. It was in those weakest of moments living to eat, lost hurting from sexual abuse, desperate to be loved from a cheating spouse, and crying for God to just take me to heaven that God was with me. He was carrying me through and even though I was not depending upon Him. He still loved me and was always just waiting for me to see His face.

He was looking down on me smiling seeing the beauty of who I was even as a abused scared woman who had so many challenges in life. He saw my value that I could not see within myself and loved me in my place of needing a rescue from a loving Savior who would never leave me. His passion for me and belief in me was my drive that gave me the passion to keep on even in those darkest of moments when I felt like I had failed myself and God.

So I learned to pursue God with the same passion and found that in my relationship with Him was my greatest treasure. It has taken me to the place I am at today and will continue to take me to my goals. I got back on my feet again by the grace of God. I found my peace that I wanted so much before to be a healthy person. I have friends, a great fun job, wonderful church family, ministry in serving, and a relationship with God who will never leave me.

So I made the choice to do it the right way. I choose to have the driver of me be the God who makes all my paths light. Today I just got back from the doctor’s office and found out that I now have a 5.2 A1C, normal blood pressure, 177 cholesterol and lost 167 pounds. God is good and it is only by His grace that I found the strength with God in the driver seat of His spirit to get me here to this point in my journey to health.

I am not a type 2 diabetic anymore and you can be too. This is my story of Hope of how the power of God in my life brought me to this place of a journey to health I am still on today. His power can change your life. Cry out to Him and let Him love you too. Then love Him with all of your heart, soul, mind and strength and you can find that peace of health too. God loves you and is patiently waiting to hear from you.

Fruit: JOY
Song in my head: Savior Please – Josh Wilson
Verse: “Give thanks to the LORD, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done.”- 1 Chronicles 16:8

The bank of values

2008-11-14T12:28:00.000-08:00

Questions Questions... rolling around in my head today. I was wondering... What is the difference between a mentor and a friend? I was thinking about the cost of discipleship, mentorship and friendship finanically and time wise. I was wondering what does my life show I value in my banks investments?

What you value shines through in the amount of investment your willing to take on in it. What are you willing to give up? What are you willing to give? The time your willing to use and the cost of these things is a part of showing who you are and what you value.

There is no total money makeover for the cost of relationships. The cost of your time and financial just can not be cut to invest in the people in your lives. They are to important. The money and time your willing to spend comes from a bank of what you believe and value.

A good friend sent me an email with 37 odd questions to answer about myself and then forword it on to a few more friends. I really saw it as another one of those many silly emails I recieve forwarded on to people. I took the time though to stop and write in the answers to this fun email and forwarded on to a few others.

I had no idea the response I would get would show me something about people I never knew. It's funny how when you have established trust with someone and ask them what is really going on in their lives how they will tell you.

That's when you have the chance to invest from that bank of what you value and make the effort to be Jesus hands and feet. You get the chance to "live like your the only impression of Jesus they will ever see."

Fruit: Love

Song in my head: Brown eyed girl - Van Morrison

Verse: 1John 4:16 And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. 17In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him.

The treasure I seek

2008-11-11T10:22:00.000-08:00

It's incredible how wise you can be when you start to actually follow your own advice. Getting focused creates such a clear vision for the future that sometimes it can become so bright that it's almost blinding to the things you need to accomplish. Taking it one step in front of the other not looking to far ahead seems to work best for that sun in your face.

I decided not to wander off to find a new trail to blaze off the beaten path like I love to do. God knows it's my adventuresome spirit that is always wanting to doddle off on that little unknown path. I am forever wanting to be exploring that little peak of light inbetween two trees where it looks like someone could have hiked and explored before me. Then I would walk it out to see if I could find a treasure at the end.

I love to dig in by nature and find hidden treasures in everything. I love a good mystery that you find out the secret at the end. Although it really can't take too long to find out the secret or I might give up after awhile.

Most of all I love people like that. I love to befriend someone and find their hidden treasure. I am convinced there is something for me to find in every person I meet. Everyone has that gem God gives to them that makes them a treasure.

There is something unique and special that takes them beyond a place of a complacent soul just trudging through life. There is a life inside them with a gift to give in a special place somewhere deep inside. Some people know it and use it and others give it away and others don't believe they have it.

I want to find it in people who don't know they have it and give them a glimpse of the glory of the gem inside. It's not really a secret. Sometimes you have to dig to find it when the package it comes in makes it hard to see. Lord be my vision to see.

Fruit: Patience

Song in my head: You Are My All in All - Point of Grace

Verse: Proverbs 18:15 The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge; the ears of the wise seek it out

Lessons from Oprahs shoes and a friends Jacket

2008-11-05T13:11:00.000-08:00

Taking a deep breath as I opened my eyes this morning I was feeling all those little disappointments and stuggles I had from the day before. I tell myself that phrase my brother taught me as a girl when getting hurt while wanting to play with the boys "just grin and bear it". Sometimes I just try to stay tough believing I can make it on my own but really I know what I really need.

I thought of a song by Hillsong and took to heart the words "take me as you find me, all my fears and failures, fill my life again, I give my life to follow, everything I believe in, I surrender, I surrender" and another song by Josh Wilson "Savior, Please".

It was a tough day for my confidence yesterday in so many ways. I wasn't looking through Gods eyes and I let self doubt creep into the truth of who I am in Him. I was looking through my own glasses seeing all those imperfections and challenges I faced letting them get me down.

So this morning I decided I needed my savior and a hero. Awhile ago I watched an Oprah Winfrey show that touched me. It had a woman in it who had gone through many struggles and had overcome so many things.

The woman purchased Oprah's shoes from a charity auction for inspiration. She had bought the shoes even though they were 3 sizes to big for her and she really couldn't afford them. Afterwords she would stand in them whenever she was feeling defeated or needing confidence and feel confident again knowing she could accomplish great things like her hero.

This morning this story came to mind as I took out of my closet the jacket of a woman I admire and I put it on along with a spritz of my "China" Safari. The jacket was given to me by a strong unique woman of God who blessed me with it. I had admired it on her when she wore it and told her I liked how unique it was a long time ago. Last week she told me she wanted to give me a jacket of hers and then yesterday I was so excited to find out it was this one same unique jacket.

Some might say it's a bit of a busy jacket with it's intricate carpet bag pattern and bold unique design but I just love it. I got 3 compliments on it today. It shouts to me when I put it on that I'm a beautiful, confident, unique woman with a creative artsy flair.

I looked in the mirror and smiled this morning thinking "it works". Suddenly when wearing the jacket I found a sense of confidence that my friend portrays. I felt like I was in Oprahs shoes.

I admire my friend not only because she is a confident strong woman who loves God but also because of her heart for people too. It is the everday little things in watching her model to me her Godly character that makes her my pastor, mentor and friend.

I caught another glimpse of her heart last night when she bought some shoes for someone who needed them. A simple act of mercy and love that showed me exactly what Jesus would have done. I treasure friends who just shine who Jesus is in who they are.

So I wore her jacket today praying I can be confident and have those eyes to see the needs of others when wearing it. I want to be a gentle voice of hope to those customers who call in on the verge of tears hurting.

I decided to write down the names of the customers stories that touch me and pray specifically for them. I prayed for them to get a touch from that loving Savior behind the jacket.

Fruit: Love

Song in my head: Mighty to save - Hillsong

Verse: 2 Corinthians 3: 2You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everybody. 3You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts. 4Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God. 5Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. 6He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant—not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life

Are you a good melon?

2008-11-04T10:08:00.000-08:00

Fruit is a funny thing. It's odd when you think about it. It's a food that's colorful and shaped in all kinds of odd combinations of colors and tastes. Sometimes it's so sweet and juicy that it's messy. Sometimes it's not quite ripe and its bitter.

Fruit can be messy when you consider it in people's lives too. The fruit of a soul in a person inside is evident in who they are growing and changing to be on the outside when you can see it in their lives. We are all living on a vine of sorts.

How do you tell if you have a good melon or not? I was reading online today and found it interesting how you tell if you have a good melon. The article said "There should be no stem present, because melons drop naturally from the vine when they ripen".

I wondered how ripe our presidental candidates where and considered their fruit as I was praying today for the election. A pastor up in Tacoma Washington said something Saturday night that made me think.

"I don't judge Obama's motives because that is for God to judge. I judge him by the fruit of who he is. I can't judge his motives because Gods word tells me that only God can do that."

It is really true of every situation and makes it more clear in every situation the standard to which you can judge people by. It takes out that grey area that says "what are they really meaning by what they are doing?". You just take that out of the equasion and take into effect the full truth of the fruit that grows from their lives.

I tried a new area of ministry the other day on Halloween at my churches harvest festival. I tried a ministry that is typically is a male dominated one. I was one of three women in a ministry team that had probably 20 men serving that night.

Serving as a woman on the parking ministry wasn't my first choice and I was feeling a bit out in the pasture to not be dealing directly with people which would be my first preference.
I really learned a lesson there in that dark chilly night though. I learned something about how God can use me anywhere people who need Him are.

I was working the Blue lot on the off site parking from our church. It's a block or so from our church and so we had shuttles running every 5 minutes or so to the church from it.
A car drove up to me with my orange vest and glow wand and asked "what's going on here?". They had no idea that it was church sponsored event. I told him it was a free event with a live animal show, candy, games and lots of fun. He said "are you sure it's free?".

I said "yes, it's a gift from Church of Living water". He said "I don't know if a church would let me in". I assured him that we would and he smiled, parked and I showed him where he could take the shuttle in.

I didn't see him return to hear of how his time went but meeting him showed me that God can really use us anywhere. It made me really think about the fruit of my attitude in serving in areas out of my perference. It made me realize I need to keep on my toes.

It challenges me to consider what fruit is growing from my life. It makes me want to be a good melon not clipping off the vine before I am ripe in an area of my life. I want to be a good melon. I like word pictures so I was thinking this is a good one.

A good melon needs lots of Son, water, and nutrients. The soil we grow in is where we get it. The foundation of soil in the word of God has all the nutrients we need and the water is the spirit of God quenching our thirst to grow. The Son is Jesus who shines on us to make us grow in the field.

Standing out in the field in the dark you can get to thinking. Okay I know this is pretty simple and been said before but it encourages me to think about so I hope it encourages you.
Praying today that our President would be a good melon and that our election process is a good one.

Fruit: Love

Song in my head: Give me your eyes - Brandon Heath

Verse: Isaiah 32: 16 Justice will dwell in the desert and righteousness live in the fertile field. 17 These: fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever. 18 My people will live in peaceful dwelling places, in secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest. 19 Though hail flattens the forest and the city is leveled completely, 20 how blessed you will be, sowing your seed by every stream, and letting your cattle and donkeys range free.

Cardboard Testimonies

2008-10-29T18:14:00.000-07:00

My friend Kelly P. sent me an email today to a link for a awesome thing a church in Indiana did. It was truely beyond words. I know I could have some cardboard signs if our church did it. I love what she said about it.

"What an amazing way to introduce people to Gods character. Promises made and kept in the lives of real people who need him and admit their need. This is such an amazing testimony to the power of God in peoples lives, and what He is capable of."

Check it out.

http://www.yourchurch.com/cardboard-testimonies/

Fruit: Love
Song in my head: I wish - Point of Grace
Verse: Psalm 104: 30 When you send your Spirit, they are created, and you renew the face of the earth. 31 May the glory of the LORD endure forever; may the LORD rejoice in his works- 32 he who looks at the earth, and it trembles, who touches the mountains, and they smoke. 33 I will sing to the LORD all my life; I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.

Blog this and Blog that

2008-10-27T16:48:00.000-07:00

I have several blogs I regularly read and two of my favorites had some great things today. One made me laugh and the other ... well touched me. So here is a blog of this and a blog of that.

A smile from her

Beautiful music blogged by him

Fruit: Love
Song in my head: Shine - Salvador
Verse: Hebrews 4:12 For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

It's Coffee House Life

2008-10-18T15:03:00.000-07:00

It's really amazing who you can meet when you go to a coffee house. There are so many types of coffee houses everywhere. There are so many different types of coffee drinkers. There is the perverbial Starbucks conasour who prefers the stylish savvy cookie cutter logo coffee on the go.

There is that person who is just looking for the free wi-fi sign in the window so they can pop off an email on their way someplace along with an ordinary cup of joe. There is also that coffee snob generation who insists on it being the finest of rare unique roasts in order for it to pass by their lips.

But my favorite are those that choose that hole in the wall funky little place that doesn't quite have the trend down but has that off-beat style of their own. They cater to those who really can't afford the fufu coffee we all pay to much for and most of the time arn't able to stay in business for long.

I miss my favorite place that used to be in downtown Olympia Washington called Artisians. It was a funny little place with exquiste coffee and balcony upstairs and free wi-fi to boot. It lasted for awhile but was never quite as busy as it needed to be. I remember some of the unique happenings I would run into when visiting there.

It had local bands come an play on occasion. On one occasion I remember walking in and finding it packed with deaf people signing. Several times I felt like I could visit there and it was a culture in that room where I was a bit like a foreigner visiting another country. I liked that feeling of being a bit out of my element.

For me it was the perfect fit of a unique coffee shop with free wi-fi and excellent coffee. The only exception for me was that the music they played was so off-beat that sometimes I had to reconcile my own preference to learn a bit about that unique culture.

Today my two favorite places are Batdrof & Bronson along with Cutters Point. They both have free wi-fi and most of the time excellent coffee. It's all good there except they both miss the music and unique flavor of the hole in the wall. Ahh life is such.

Fruit: Patience

Song in my Head: Dancing Queen - Abba

Verses: Pondering ... a few

Praying wishes come true

2008-10-16T16:35:00.000-07:00

I am loving this new song by Point of Grace called "I wish". Here are the lyrics I finally found online today.

I wish I didn’t feel so helpless
I wish I didn’t act so selfish

I wish I didn’t wring my hands night and day

My hair was a little bit smoother

My jeans fit a little bit looser

And I always knew the right things to say

And I wish I wouldn’t hide what’s been going on inside

And I wish you wouldn’t get scared and run away

I wish I was doing better

With all the things that matter,

I guess I got some learning to do

I wish everyone had someone

To hold em and to love em

The way I’m always gonna love you

I wish wishes came true
I wish there was a cure for cancer

I wish somebody had an answer

And all God’s children, never got hurt

I wish Eve never bit that apple

You men never went to battle

And I didn’t get so mad at the world

I wish I was more like Jesus

And could pick up all the pieces

And make a better life for my baby girl

I wish I was doing better

With all the things that matter,

I guess I got some learning to do

I wish everyone had someone

To hold em and to love em

The way I’m always gonna love you

I wish wishes came true

For everything I am wishing

I know someone up there is listening

So, I say my prayers when I go to bed

Ahh, ahh, ahh Oh pray my wishes come true Oh

I wish I was doing better

With all the things that matter,

I guess I got some learning to do

I wish everyone had someone

To hold em and to love em

The way I’m always gonna love you

I wish wishes came true
I know wishes come true

I wish, I wish

Fruit: Patience
Song in my head: I wish - Point of Grace
Verses: John 15:1 "I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. 3You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.... 7If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. 8This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

5 Incredible blessings

2008-10-15T18:20:00.000-07:00

Have you ever just woke up tired? This week having taken it's tole on my body in my fathers passing and traveling to Texas and back, just hit this morning. I woke up and before my feet touched the floor I had prayed "God just help me to get through this day". My muscles ached and my heart was heavy needing release.

I got in the car and the new song by Point of Grace came on. "I wish" made me smile and sing along thinking of what I wished for now.

I decided it was definitely a "NEED a latte" morning so I stopped in @4:07 am @ the only Starbucks open on my way to work. I ordered a Venti Sugar-free cinnamon dulce and looked at the one car in front of me. It was a cute little red sports car.

Just as I was thinking this I got my first blessing of the day. I pulled forward and the Starbucks gal handed me my drink and said "the woman in the car in front of you paid for your drink". I was shocked at first and wondered "how did she know?"

How did she know my father died last week and this was my first day back to work? How did she know how much I hurt for the loss of the time I never had with him? How did she know that I just needed to cry but couldn't really before now. My eyes filled and I was just thankful.

It's something that I have done for people but never had it done for me like this before. It made me realize how important the little things are that we do for people. That stranger paying for my latte in the drive through at Starbucks was just what I needed in that moment of weakness needing a bit of hope, feeling a bit lost in how I would get through the day.

My second blessing came in my review from my supervisor. She looked in my eyes and said I was consistently excellent in all areas of my job and that I had won another award for last month. She encouraged me and told me how well I was doing giving me confidence.

My third blessing came when I decided to go for it and apply to a internal Expedia temporary positon. It would give me a new skill which could be a huge blessing for me and a challenge as well. It became an easy decision for me to apply after and I found the courage to step past my own self doubts to just go for it.

My fourth blessing came in a some emails and a special voice mail left for me from a good friend whose care and love came through in words of hugs for me. It made me feel loved and cared for.

My fifth blessing came in the disappearance of my ache in my body after working out. I was still tired and feeling achy on my way home and I decided to stop on my way home and just go for it at the gym. It is amazing how awesome you can feel when having been under stress to make yourself do a challenging work out. It was all so good and so this evening I am counting my blessings and thanking God for strangers, supervisors and friends.

Fruit: Joy

Song in my head: Point of Grace "I wish"

Verse: Isaiah 40:31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint

Everythings Bigger in Texas

2008-10-09T23:12:00.000-07:00

It’s amazing to me how unique each state’s culture is within the United States. I remember living in Southern California and the style and station of life there with the sun and sun loving people. There was a certain air of confidence and code of speech with quick, witty, savvy LA people.

Visiting here in Texas this week for my fathers funeral it’s been a culture shock of sorts for my brothers and I. The rate of speech is slow and the culture has its southern draw with a charm all it’s own to boot.

The people of Texas seem slower pace than my fast paced brothers are used. With my .com job and their owning their own businesses we are used to go go go and so it’s challenged us to slow down a bit to match and listen closely.

It was a peaceful blessing of a plane ride here. I got my own row on a non-stop Alaska Airlines flight with some great cushy leather seats. For those of you who don’t know I fractured a bone in my ankle the week prior to my father’s passing and so I had a medical boot thing on to help keep my ankle stable while traveling.

Having my own row made it so I could put up my foot the whole way there. The stewardesses on Alaska where so awesome, attentive and friendly. I plan on sending a thank you note to Alaska. They have always been my favorite Airline.

There has been a mountain of things to do since arriving and it’s kept me a bit from taking it in. The reality of how people you love live in another state when you don’t see them can be a shock when it is so different from your lifestyle.

I have never planned a memorial before and we are making it really simple like my father was. I have loved getting to spend time with my brothers and learning more about what’s going on in their lives that I ever would have gotten from just visiting for an occasion. When three kids live in three different states it makes it tough to know each other’s lives well.

I guess you could say we all three have different cultures from each other. Sean has his business www.lagunaprecast.com in California and Mexico importing. Mark has his business of an alarm system company in Nevada and I work as at a .com as a Travel agent of sorts in Washington state. We really all came from though this Texas where Mark and I were born.

I have heard the phrase “everything is bigger in Texas” before and I kind of agree with it from the time I have spent here thus far. The airport at DFW was quite large with several terminals spread out a bit. The mall we stopped at went on for a mile it seemed. The lay of the land seem to be a treeless wonder of flat land that went on forever.

A lot of the houses are on plots of land with spread out communities in place. The sunsets have been beautiful huge displays of colors stretched across the entire horizon. Even the hotel rooms seemed huge here. I have also seen several churches here with huge windows and steeples with lots of land around them.

I heard a joke a while back about God being closer in Texas than any other state. The punch line went something like when making a phone call to God in Texas there wasn’t any long distance charges and so it wouldn’t cost you much because here in Texas it was a local call.

I can see God here in the beauty of it but certainly not in the Mosquitos. They are definetly bigger here in Texas. Those skeeters are quite hungry for my sweet tasty Washington white girl legs.

Well… I am praying a lot here with it being a “local” call and all. I have a silly Texas song in my head to that made me smile a bit today. My brothers can also be goofy at times so it really helps to keep us positive in a tough situation. Wonder if my prayers coming from Texas might just be bigger coming in the mailbox in Heaven. I think God answers my knee-mail either way. :)

Fruit: Peace
Song in my head: All my Ex’s live in Texas
Verse: Isaiah 43:2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned; nor shall the flames scorch you

The Indescribable significance

2008-09-28T15:12:00.000-07:00

Still considering my prayer life and it's significance I thought of this weeks prayers. I just wondered if I don't sound like a whiney cranky baby when I am talking to God for myself sometimes.

Where does the prayer list come from? Is there a correct order to their significance? What does He think of my sometimes silly prayers?

I prayed for the Presidental candidates, starving children in foreign countries, my friends, my family, my favorite missionaries, for the new salvations at repossess to grow, for that customer whose child passed away leaving a plane ticket unused. I prayed for so many things that seem like they would matter more to God.

My prayers for me seem so silly and insignificant in comparison to the world and how much more God is needed beyond my desires. I prayed help staying awake on the way to work, for healing of my ankle that I as a clumsy girl twisted in my rushing done in haste. I prayed I would slow down and "Stay Strong" remembering Him in every step I take. I prayed for peace from worry about tomorrow in this economy. I prayed I would find a heart to share my life with. I prayed I wouldn't hit the kitty who ran out in front of me while driving.

What amazes me beyond all things is that God does care about me and all those little things that I pray for myself as much as He cares about everything else. He is so amazing in how He loves us. He values each "silly" prayer we pray. The glory of their significance comes in every step we take drawing closer to Him with every time we cry out to Him.

He sees my tears of feeling all those little disappointments from the week building up and pouring out while in service. Then He provides His awesome word to encourage, build up and restore us so we can walk on with Him. It's my greatest treasure to know and be known by a God like this. He gives us an indescribable significance through His love for us.

Fruit: Peace
Song in my head: Indescribable - Chris Tomlin
Verse: Isaiah 49: 1 Listen to me, you islands; hear this, you distant nations: Before I was born the LORD called me; from my birth he has made mention of my name. 2 He made my mouth like a sharpened sword, in the shadow of his hand he hid me; he made me into a polished arrow and concealed me in his quiver. 3 He said to me, "You are my servant, Israel, in whom I will display my splendor." ...

Top Ten Prayers God always says yes to

2008-09-24T16:48:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I am so hungry for the Bible. I just want it more and more. Yesterday was a significant day from my history and it caused me to really reflect. I found the scripture that goes with my journaling which is how it works. It just grabs me and challenges me to my every part.

I love it when God just uses His word to fill me up. I was feeling empty straving for His word and He just really satisfies. Like a Snickers bar but a whole lot less calories :)

We talked about prayer at our Monday night study this week and I was challenged about my prayer life. I found a headline today with this list of the top ten prayers God says Yes to. I have prayed all these prayers at one time or another.

God, Show Me That You Exist
God, Make Me an Instrument
God, Outdo Me in Generosity

God, Get Me Through This Suffering

God, Forgive Me,

God, Give Me Peace

God, Give Me Courage

God, Give Me Wisdom

God, Bring Good Out of This Bad Sidtuation

God, Lead Me to My Destiny

So does God only say yes for sure to Me prayers? It all seemed like the list said, that me, me, me, give me something Jesus prayers were all the top tens.

Looking for models when I was a new Christian I had a youth pastor of mine challenge me to make my prayers unselfish and I have taken that to heart and always tried to be less of me more of others ever since.

I was challenged at my Monday night Bible study that my desire for my communcation with God to be worship most and prayer for others second with prayers for me coming in the at the very last could not be the right way to pray. I'm not sure I agree but I am pondering. I just don't want my top ten list of prayers to all include the word ME in them. So I am praying on that one..

Fruit: Patience

Song in my head: For I am Convinced

Verses: Hebrews 10: 22let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. 23Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful... 32Remember those earlier days after you had received the light, when you stood your ground in a great contest in the face of suffering. 33Sometimes you were publicly exposed to insult and persecution; at other times you stood side by side with those who were so treated. 34You sympathized with those in prison and joyfully accepted the confiscation of your property, because you knew that you yourselves had better and lasting possessions. 35So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. 36You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. 37For in just a very little while, "He who is coming will come and will not delay. 38But my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him. 39But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved.

French Encounters

2008-09-18T22:23:00.000-07:00

I had a fun French customer today who made me smile. We were having a bit of a language barrier and so I said "Je m'appelle Michele..." to him as he asked my name again saying it in French.

He said "Oh your a Michelle..." and in that same wonderful French accent he hummed/sang a bit of my favorite Beatles song "Michelle, ma belle." The song goes "Sont des mots qui vont très bien ensemble, Très bien ensemble" which has always made me smile.

He was difficult to comunicate with but it made it easier to have the French connection when I said a few words here and there in French to him. In the end I booked him a trip to Vegas within his current trip and all was "très magnifique".

As an Expedia agent I get calls from all over the world but I really appreciate those ones that bring a little light and song into my day.

An Expedia agent from the Phillipines called later on in the day and was humming as I was looking up information for him. When I asked Ben what he was humming he said "Paul Simon's Boxer." I didn't know the song so I googled it and it made me want to hear it sometime.

I talked to strangers from all over the planet today. From the USA, Philippines, El Salvador, China, Mexico, Italy, Canada to France and back again. We are worlds apart in space but still have the same people that can laugh at our differences. Strangers can be pretty funny sometimes.

Another French encounter that I had recently shocked me a bit just a couple of Saturday nights ago when greeting at service.

An older gentlemen who I didn't know came to the doors quickly walking towards me. I offered my hand for him to shake but he promptly pushed it away hugging me and kissing me on my cheeks. I was a bit shocked tell I heard his accent in his quick greeting.

My fellow greeter and I just laughed and knew he must be French as we watched him walk inside. We both must have looked a bit shell shocked that a stranger would be so intimate with us but we concluded quickly that it's all about culture sometimes. I just have to keep remembering to see strangers like Jesus would... being His hands and feet.

Fruit: JOY
Song on my lips: Give me your eyes - Brandon Heath
Verses: Hebrews 13:2 Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it

Sarah Palin on Toast

2008-09-17T18:19:00.000-07:00

I laughed out loud today when I saw this CNN story with a photo of the Ebay auction for a piece of toast that mysteriously had the image of Sarah Palin on it.

Thinking about it after though made me wonder. Sarah Palin on toast kind of mocks the people who see the image of Jesus on the sides of some building in some foreign country senario.

Those people truely believe they are seeing God but they also seem a bit "crazy" or "misguided" to a lot of other people.

It just really makes Christians look crazy and misguided. There are a lot of things in society that try to mock or discount Jesus and things God values.

I saw a part of a report on CNN where they kind of made fun of Sarah Palins church too. They started showing the gift of speaking in tougues in the report and made the church look a bit "crazy".

It's truely a media driven world that looks for something to laugh at that they don't understand. I can't begin to fathom what the media thinks it's doing other than trying to discount Christianity when it does those reports that scare people into thinking Christianity is all about crazy happenings with misguided people.

It's all relative in that world. So today I smiled at the toast but still disheartened to the reality of what it means. It's an example of the reality of living in this world that thinks we are followers of a religion that's just wierd.

"Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord, We will wait upon the Lord, We will wait upon the Lord, Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord, We will wait upon the Lord, We will wait upon the Lord,"

Praying today for our future President and Vice GAL to be leaders that tomorrow will be proud to have had serve us with integrity.

Fruit: Peace
Song in my Head: Everlasting God - Lincoln Brewster
Verses: Ephesians 5:1 Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children 2and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.... 6Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God's wrath comes on those who are disobedient. 7Therefore do not be partners with them. 8For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light 9(for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) 10and find out what pleases the Lord. 11Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. 12For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. 13But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, 14for it is light that makes everything visible.

Sunshine & Watermelon Moons

2008-09-09T17:05:00.000-07:00

Driving home last night from my small group study I looked up and saw a watermelon moon as listened to "Lord let me shine, Shine like the moon, A reflection of you, All that I do".

There are rare times when songs on the radio just hit you. That one and Stay Strong by Newsboys were lyrics that got me.

"Stay strong, You are not lost, Come on and fix your eyes ahead, There's a new dawn to light our day, our day, We've gotta stay strong, You and I run, For the prize that lies ahead, We've come too far to lose our way, our way, Get up, there's further to go, Get up, there's more to be done, Get up, this witness is sure, Get up, this race can be won, This race can be won".

I love music and how it motivates and inspires me when I need it. I was starting to feel a little lost until my small group last night. I had a tough week with my Aunt Paula passing away. I traveled to Sutherlin, Oregon on Wedensday and stayed tell Sunday.

They came from all over the USA and even from Canada by plane, train, car and RV. My uncles home had RV campers parked all over his property. It was awesome to see family from everywhere and I know Paula would have loved to be there to see everyone.

It was pretty crazy and exhausting emotionally as well as physically with helping in the kitchen but I loved being there. I love that this side of my family that love Jesus.

My uncle and cousin play guitar and sing at church and have been serving for years. Several other cousins from that side of the family sing aswell. The music in their home was such a blessing to hear again. My uncle brought out the guitar after a few days and I actually saw my uncle smile a bit again.

It was a beautiful funeral where her life was honored and it had a awesome slide show of her life in pictures. There was a time of sharing stories about her too. I heard so many stories about how she was truely a servant proverbs 31 woman of God during my stay. I heard stories of her helping people in the hospital and taking elderly church members far and wide. She was also a grandparent for a child who didnt have family on Grandparents day at school.

She had served in her church and in her womans minstry for many years. It was really the little everyday things she did to make everyone in her life feel special and included that made her special.

She was famous for her cooking and Sunday dinners where she would invite people to come no matter who they were. Her home was always open with so many different flavors of ice cream that everyone had their favorite on hand. She would make three kinds of potato salad just so everyone had their favorite. She loved so many people and blessed so many lives.

Tears flowed many times this week thinking of her. I was so touched when we were going though her photo albums looking for photos for the slide show to find that she kept so many pictures of me growing up. She had some photos of me that I didn't even know about. She never threw away pictures and treasured her memories.

She was truely a beautiful woman who I will miss dearly but know I will see again in heaven one day. At the funeral my cousin Kim sang "I can only Imagine". I didn't really catch the connection tell now but last night at my small group our leader Kelly brought out some different colored glass marbles with words on them and I think it brought a connection for me. She asked us to each pick one that we wanted to pray about for our lives for the upcoming season.

I chose a clear one with "Imagine" on it. For me it was about seeing through this clear marble to see myself with the "imagine" in it. I want to see that hope of what God could have for me, believe in myself and be clear in the direction He would have for me.

I want to be wise in the decisions I make and choices. It reminds me of another song I love. "For who you are" by Hillsong. "Standing here in Your presence, Thinking of the good things You have done, Waiting here patiently, Just to hear your still small voice again".

I just want to see Him everyday and praise Him. I thank God for the watermelon moon last night, awesome prayer with a word to inspire @small group and the beautiful sunshine today.

"Far away in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead." - Louisa May Alcott

Fruit: Patience

Song in my Head: Shine - Salvador

Verse: Ephesians 3:20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,

Worldz apart

2008-09-01T19:48:00.001-07:00

Coming into work this morning @4:30am as I usually do I found my travel agent alerts going wild and an email from my boss requesting we all do some overtime this week.

Another Earthquake in China 6.1, Hurricane Gustav hitting, soon to be a Hurricane Hanna on its way, Alitalia (my favorite overseas airline) going bankrupt, and Air India (one of my least favorite airlines next to Air France) LAX market cessation causing customers to rebook. It all makes us quite busy. Everyone in the office seemed to have a case of the Monday's this morning @Expedia. It's mornings like this that I start with a little prayer and a lot of CNN and other news orgs for the 411 on the world.

It always makes me feel like my world is so small when I see how big the rest of it is. It's huge when reading about how much is happening all around the world. Everything affects travel.

I got my passport again this weekend. I had lost it while moving about a year or so ago. I decided to get another just in case I have opportunity to travel with work or in missions again. I had wanted a new passport photo anyway :) My last passport photo was from when I was 19 years old and had very long curly hair.

I remember when I was 19 thinking that 30 was sooo old. Funny, Suzelle had me glowing a bit this weekend when she said she had thought I was actually more like 24 years old.

Feeling nostalgic... at my 12th hour at work today (as I did 14 hours) I had the song "reaching" by Carolyn Arrends in my head today. Kieth Green, Carolyn Arrends and Jars of Clay are the CD's I wear out the quickest.

I prayed today for China and the Hurricane victims. I prayed that God would calm the winds of hurricane Gustav. I was so encouraged and blessed to see my prayers answered each time I would refresh the news between work. Down from catagory 3 to catagory 2 and then to catagory 1... Now praying those levees hold.

Maybe it wasn't just my one prayer that calmed those winds but I know it had the power to.

"Just one more touch of the great Devine leaves me hungry every time. One more taste of what remains... until Heaves gates are reached".

Fruit: Patience
Song in my head: Reaching - Carolyn Arrends
Verse: James 5:16Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

A time to laugh

2008-08-28T20:59:00.000-07:00

God is so good in giving me a time to laugh when I need it. Lately I have been focusing on seeing Joy in my life as a fruit in it. It's been tough during those days when working overtime and feeling tired. I found a website that I have found some seriously goofy "Christian" jokes on. One of my favorites is "leaves of the Book".....

A little boy opened the big Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found!" the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"

I was reading my friend Kelly's" blog today and thought "I need to always be seeing the season I am in and not just experiencing it". Part of that is making choices to choose to live out the fruit of the spirit in my life and Choose JOY in every season I am in. As a blog reader of many I am influenced by what I read and I was today by two. I read today in another and I thought about my season and decided to choose JOY in spite of whatever mountain I am facing each day and accept that who I am is what God tells me I am first and not what one person may say.

I can't sit around feeling I'm too insignificant and not worthy to confront someone who I feel has unjustly kept ahold of a opinon and judgement of me from my weakest of times. I am a new creation who has grown past and if they choose to still see me as in that place from where I was in the toughest trial I ever faced then they are missing the beauty of who I am today. They are missing the sunrise glimpse of my roses bloom and seeing the sweet dew drops shining in the morning sun. I know all of this yet it still hurts...

There are so many verses in my heart that just fight for me and are always telling me to never give up and believe in the God who loves me and what He says about me. I praise God for His word. My fight verses for when I fall and skin my knee on my hikes up the mountain sides of life are what pick me back up.. back up again.

I just take it one step up the mountain at a time and believe in the God who made me. Because "no weapon formed against me shall prosper" and "I am going to Love the Lord my God with all of my Heart Soul Mind and Strength! and "I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor highth, nor depth, nor any other created thing shall be able to separate me from the Love of God which is in Christ Jesus My Lord!!" and most of all "I am a rose of Sharon, a lily of the valley, a strong woman among the thorns"... His sweet word on my mind takes action in my feet!

Fruit: JOY

Song in my Head: Turn Turn Turn - Byrds

Verse:Ecclesiastes 3:1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: .... 4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,

Jars of Clay

2008-08-25T15:49:00.000-07:00

Hands raised, voices loud. dancing under the sky of the warm August night, worship was made even sweeter with the gentle rain that came falling all around. Singing my favorite love song for Jesus that took me through those times back when I was in my little apartment in college made me smile. It been my song yet again this last two years.

I hadn't seen Jars of Clay since they were just the opening act band for another back in 1996 in Orange County, California. I have been waiting to see them for several months since I heard they would be coming to the Evergreen State Fair.

I won free tickets with Spirit 105.3 radio station and so it was perfect. We started off with six hours to get there and ended up needing all but one of them to get there. It was a grand adventure with some peculiar life lessons along the way.

Our first detour was to the Cheesecake factory where the food was out of this world and the cheesecake beyond comparison. Some great conversation and an hour or so on our detour was when it really started to pour. There had been rain forecast but it was so beautiful when we left we didn't even bring umbrellas.

So with the Metro-McGuiver good sense only my good friend could have, he made a suggestion. "Let's find a Costco along the way and get a big golf umbrella." Suddenly all that technology that we all pay to much for came in handy as we searched on cells for a Costco enroute.

We found one and managed to find a awesome set of two umbrellas that served us well. Then we realized we had forgotten the directions to the fair and decided to wing it when our "technology" failed us in directions.

So down the road we were a wee bit lost in the woods of a farming community. We saw a farm with a name and thought we would stop and ask. We decided that the sign that said "no trespassers" really wasn't meant for us. Out of options we braved it and entered. My friend ran out and knocked to encounter a drunk guy @5 in the afternoon. He said when he came back in "how do you feel about getting directions from a drunk guy?". We laughed and decided to follow them. We ended up finding signs along these directions that had signs that said "beware fish crossing" and some other crazy things.

Finally we asked yet again for some sober directions and found our way to the fair. It was an adventure and it rained like cats and dogs but we loved every minute of it. Of course another cherry was when I saw some Living Water friends at the concert. It's a small world when your a Christian @a concert sometimes.

Fruit: Joy

Song in my head: Love song for a Savior - Jars of Clay

Verse: 2 Corinthians 4:7: “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us." (Version - Jars of Clay)

Jamaica Mon

2008-08-21T17:10:00.000-07:00

Doing the "Jamaican happy dance" with my friend at work this morning I had to laugh and think "it really is all about culture". She was wearing her Jamaican hat today at work and telling me with her lovely Jamaican accent how proud her country was of "their boy" Usain Bolt for winning the Gold Metal.

She had a Jamaican happy dance she taught me. It's a fun little jig. She also shared about how Americans can misinterpet their culture at times. She told me that American reporters saw Usain pounding his chest after winning the Gold and didn't realize it was not pride saying "I am great" but part of what they do when their heart is pounding after a race in their culture.

She also shared about how when she was home working at a bank in Jamaica she had the Jamaican bobsled team visit her bank. I always love to hear her lovely accent when getting her on the phone at work.

Hearing her share about how her culture was misinterpeted reminded me of a missions class I took when I was attending Azusa Pacific University in California.

In the class we went on a "passport" to several countries in a seminar and were told to observe a "authentic" African tribe ceremony in one of them. We were told to also observe and then share what we believed was happening from our observations of the people and how they were feeling and thinking.

We were told we needed to respect this culture of the African tribe who were visiting APU and not to interfere with their ceremony no matter what happened. We were brought into a large dimly lit place and told to sit quitely while watching this ceremony.

In the ceremony they were speaking a tribal language we didn't know and it seemed brutal as it had a woman on the ground having her head violently rubbed on the ground by a male along with dancing and a fire. It was a long ceremony and it was a bit emotional to see this woman seem like she was being tortured.

Afterwords we went to a forum where we discussed what we thought was going on. The leaders of our class told us that this woman was actually highly reguarded as a "God" in their culture and was being honored in the ceremony. In this "culture" it was honoring of women to do what they did in the ceremony.

After we had discussed the culture they described to us and how we misinterpeted it. Then we got the lesson that everything is not always how it appears to be and a "zinger".

They had the cast of the "African Tribe" vistors come in and reveal they were truely guests acting as Africans to teach us about culture. In other words they had made up this "African tribe" that was visiting APU to teach us something about culture.

We were fooled but got a good lesson from it. After having been to China and Mexico before this class and dealing with culture differences there I had already seen some of this. Really though when I was completely out of my element to anything I had ever experienced before in this "African tribe" I didn't know how to interpet it.

I didn't have the experience or knowledge about the culture we where thrown into in the class. It just goes to show how valuable researching into a culture before traveling there can be and how as Americans we can misinterpet things.

My Jamaican friend also told me about a porriage recipe she has from home. She said it gives untold amounts of energy to people. Her son eats it before races and just can not be caught. I told her she should market this wonder but with a smile she said "no it's Jamaican secret recipe". I hate to tell her but I googled it and found the recipe. I am so going to try it.

Fruit: Joy

Song in my Head: Give me your eyes - Brandon Heath

Loving this Verse: Psalm42:1For the director of music. A maskil of the Sons of Korah. As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. 2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God? 3 My tears have been my food day and night, while men say to me all day long, "Where is your God?" 4 These things I remember as I pour out my soul: how I used to go with the multitude, leading the procession to the house of God, with shouts of joy and thanksgiving among the festive throng. 5 Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and 6 my God. My soul is downcast within me; therefore I will remember you from the land of the Jordan, the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar. 7 Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me. 8 By day the LORD directs his love, at night his song is with me— a prayer to the God of my life.

"Total Money Makeover" Camel VS Needle

2008-08-15T11:59:00.000-07:00

I just finished a 6 week study on Dave Ramseys book "Total Money Makeover" with my small group this week. We dug into it and I really got a new way to think about some of the aspects of how I manage my money. It had some great insights into a plan to get out of debt. It was simple and really a motivational book.

I already had some of the plan to do the "snowball" in the book and had my emergency fund saved even before reading. I was glad to know I was already doing some of the things he suggested and it gave me encouragment to continue. I liked his ideas and encouragment and how it provided stories of people who became debt free.

I really liked how he shared about giving in the book but there was something missing throughout that I wasn't quite sure of until chatting with my small group. I didn't see the emphasis on relying on God to determine the path of your money first quite enough.

We had a good discussion in my small group about this and about a quote from him that we questioned when balancing it with what scripture said. This is a great book overall and I would encourage reading it. However you have to look outside it to see "the God factor" in the equasion of His kingdom first.

You just can't leave out "the God factor" first when deciding out your budget. You have to leave room for God to tell you to do something unexpected with your money that may be out of your budget but in His plan with it. Even if this means while working on getting out of debt you have to give something God tells you to do with that "emergency fund".

Our security must come from the only true place it can come from. After all we have to remember what Jesus told us about worry and where our security should lie.

Matthew 6: 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?... and 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

In the book Dave also talks about building large wealth being healthy for a Christian to desire. When I first read this I got a "spirit check" in my gut. It didn't feel right. Maybe it was the way he said it. Even though he did also note that wealth would free you up so your free to give it still didn't seem to line up for me. This is great to be desiring to give but you have to be careful there and so I went to scripture.

In building wealth you can't get away from seeing scripture like

Matthew 29: 23Then Jesus said to his disciples, "I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. 24Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."

Dave really doesn't address this in his book. How are we supposed to get through that eye of the needle if we are successfull in building the huge kind of wealth that his book discusses. It discusses in the book giving but if we are still rich where will our heart be if we are so concerned about keeping our half a Million dollar nest egg for retirement and building more?

I am not sure we really came to a conclusion that it was possible in our small group. Still pondering that one. Camel Vs Needle... hummm ... I did find a photo of a camel in a suitcase but no needle.. where is that big needle when you need one?

Fruit: Patience
Song in my head: Give me your eyes - Brandon Heath
Verse: Matthew 11:29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Funny stories @bout customers

2008-08-11T17:03:00.000-07:00

@t work @Expedia we got a email passed around about some actual issues customers called in on at one time to travel agents for. There was a top ten list and these are my two favorites:

A New York lawmaker called and asked, 'Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?' I said, 'No, why do you ask?' She said, 'Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT). I am a little overweight, but I think that's very rude. After putting her on hold for a minute while I looked into it (I was laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno , CA is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting the destination tag on her luggage.

A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China . After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. 'Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those.' I double-checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, 'Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!'

It's good to laugh every day and see reasons to smile. Try smiling at someone who snarles at ya and you will see one of two things: Shock or a smile back... It's worth doing either way I find...

Fruit: Joy
Song in my Head: Let all creation sing... What a wonder you are.... - By: ?
Verse: Job 29:24 When I smiled at them, they scarcely believed it; the light of my face was precious to them. (out of context :))

Midweek adventures :)

2008-08-06T19:08:00.000-07:00

I have had a adventurous week thus far and it's only halfway through. On Monday afternoon after work I went on a short hike to Tolmie Park near @Mary's house where my small group meets. I found a beautiful piece of drift wood to sit and read on and do some sketching of the beautiful day it was. Then I took a walk and found a fallen tree that fell from the cliff near the oceans edge.

It brought to mind scripture about how when were planted in sand we will not withstand the storm. This tree was a perfect illustration of this. Its root system was long yet it couldn't stand the test of a storm as it came up taking its roots with it. As I left I crossed the sweet little bridge and was off to my favorite place to be on a Monday night.

Then today I on the way home from work Cat called me and asked me to go swimming with her and her boys at the Tenino Rock Quarry. It was a blast to hang out with the crew and swim to the waterfall. It is a bit scary jumping in to the quarry. You can't see the bottom and so its a bit of a leap of faith. The water is a rush at first because it's so cool. Then you get swimming and it's just a joy.

Googling today after trying to remember all the words I found one of my favorite songs by Dennis Jernigan "You are my all in all". I remembered the first time I sang this song was in Chapel while attending Azusa Pacific University in California. Reading his website I found his awesome testamony. http://www.dennisjernigan.com/Testimonies.htm

You are my All in All
You are my strength when I am weak

You are the treasure that I seek

You are my all in all

Seeking You as a precious jewel

Lord, to give up I'd be a fool

You are my all in all
Taking my sin, my cross, my shame

Rising up again I bless Your name

You are my all in all

When I fall down You pick me up

When I am dry You fill my cup

You are my all in all
Jesus, Lamb of God

Worthy is Your name

Jesus, Lamb of God

Worthy is Your name
You are my strength when I am weak

You are the treasure that I seek

You are my all in all

Seeking You as a precious jewel

Lord, to give up I'd be a fool

You are my all in all
Jesus, Lamb of God

Worthy is Your name

I love singing this song and wonder if I can get a CD of his? Humm... Dennis is from OK right near Texas and my JOC (Jars of Clay). Texas reminds me of country music, cowboy hats, cows, horses and.... it also reminds me how much I used to dislike the thought of Texas. (almost as much as olives) I was born in Fort Worth and I moved to California when I was a little girl. I remember visiting later and seeing roaches the size of housecats, fire ants that stung my bare feet, and extreemly hot mucky summer weather. They were long summers there then made famous by the "Y'all" and the people.

Fruit: Joy

Song in my head: You are my all and all - *Michele rendition :)

Verse: Colossians 3: 15Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 16Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. 17And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him

Kindness goes a long way

2008-08-02T15:22:00.000-07:00

Mufflers are a funny thing.. They tell you when you need a new one LOUD and clear. I got my "sweet angel" Nissan last October and have loved how it's been so faithful to get me where I am going. The only thing was that it really has always made it's entrance known.

My muffler was never quite muffing the sound of me coming. Friday I showed my muffler to my friend who said "you need a new muffler now before this one falls off... starts making sparks and your car blows up". Okay he didn't say blows up part but made it clear it needed to be done. So he took it off before it could fall off and even offered to put on a new one for me today.

Still thankful for the labor I started calling around for the best price on mufflers. This is where my customer service skills came in handy. I have a tip for anyone who really wants something from a service or business. I have found that if you are kind, show respect and are especially thankful for the service being provided you win.

Kind of grumpy in my first few attempts. I called two more places and they all said no we can't get it for you by tomorrow and it will be from $87.00 to $289.00 to get it by sometime next week. I took a moment, said a prayer and called the last place on my list. I called and followed a tip I learned from my boss. She said if you make yourself smile while talking with a customer even when your not feeling it you will sound better.

Smiling... I dialed... Suddenly this gal had one for $65.00 that she would go out of her way to rush in an order for me and would give me a 10% discount. It really hadn't occured to me until later that it was the kindness showed to her and personal interest I showed in her day that maybe gave me an edge to get what I was needing plus a bonus just for being kind.

It reminded me of a song from last summer. Part of it goes "kindness goes a long way, smile at her today".

So today I was thankful for the kind gal at Schucks and having friends who are like McGuiver. You know those guys you give a toothpick and a piece of sting and build you a mansion. My friend who volunteered to do my muffler is like that. He had to modify it to make it work with my car and just knew how to do it. Not only that but he did a tune up on my car too replacing the spark things and whatnot. I watched in awe as a officially legally blonde gal when it comes to cars and learned a bit too.

Being single you need those friends in your life who just invest their knowledge and time. It was awesome because when I left this friend he said my conversation where I gave him some life advice made it where he got as much out of helping me as I gave to him. That is exactly what friendship is all about.

I got to share a bit about being a turkey in the oven with my friend and patience. He doesn't attend Living Water and so I shared with him about Pastor Jon's sermon about being in a process of God working in us. It was about how long it takes to bake a turkey and how impatient we get waiting for it to be done. It's funny how sometimes your giving advice to someone and you think "I so need to hear this myself".

The thing about being in a process "turkey in the oven" is that we are always going to be in a process of something. If we are really truely aspiring to be our best we will always be moving, changing, growing and being transformed.

So a thought came to me.. "Will I ever see my thanksgiving feast here on earth?" Probably not.. It's not very encouraging for the short run to think it will not really ever end. Truely though it is all about the long run and those little victories we make along the way in life.

Fruit: Kindness
Song in my Head: Give me your eyes - Brandon Heath

Verse: Psalm 38: 9 All my longings lie open before you, O Lord; my sighing is not hidden from you. 15 I wait for you, O LORD; you will answer, O Lord my God.

Buzzing around

2008-07-29T03:15:00.000-07:00

It's just in those moments of my day when there is a open door for a wee bit of ministry that I truely come alive. Suddenly I'm energized, fully awake, free to give, fulfilled.

I'm a bee buzzing around at work, making some honey for the hive, a heart needs an ear and I jump into gear. What I know, that I know, that I know, is that my sweetest honey doesn't come from making the money. My sweetest day comes from that honey love of the Lord shared.

Singing a favorite song..

I like bananas, I know that mangos are sweet, I like papyas, papyas!! Oh nothing can beat that sweet love of the Lord, I was walking round in circles 5 miles per hour, Trying to find my way back to the heavenly father, The world tasted sweet but then it turned sour, So I asked him in and recieved the power!:)

I'm a bee @t work but my honey is sweetest in the hive because it comes from the heart of God in me. Death has no sting with Eternal life.. yet another song...

Fruit: Joy

Song in my head: I like bananas

Verse: For I am convinced that neither death nor life nor angels nor principalities nor things present nor things to come nor powers nor hight nor depth nor any other created thing shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. :) Version: Michele

"Sweet" Creation Festival weekend

2008-07-27T16:04:00.000-07:00

Jump, jump, jump... wave your hands in the air... sing it loud so heaven can hear...

Getting down with thousands of other fans was such a blast at Creation Festival. It was a last minute decision to make my good friends dream come true. She has wanted to see David Crowder in concert for 5 years and Thursday night we decided we would go for it. We threw a group together and found a house to host us Satuday night and just went for it.

Saturday Morning we left early in the morning and made it to Selah in time for lunch and a dip in the pool and a bit of sun. We had some awesome food including some authentic Korean from our host and then headed off to the concert.

The view as you enter the Ampitheatre is spectacular. The beautiful clear day made it perfect. We had a great spot on the grassy hillside where we could hear the music but couldn't feel the thump. So for our favorites we decided to go down to the stage and hear for them up close. We went a bit early while there was a speaker before our two favorite bands and we really had no idea how crazy it would get down there.

The speaker was an awesome funny guy who brought a tear or two. After he was done was when David Crowder came we were suddenly surrounded with thousands of people who also had our idea. We were up about 15 to 20 feet from the stage so there was no going back with thousands behind us.

I honestly didn't know all the David Crowder songs but I grew to love his music more. He put on a very creative show, however I was touched most by one of my favorite Newsboys. The sweet heart of God in Peter Furler was so evident in his sharing on stage. His passion for the message behind the music blessed me and brought tears to my eyes. With that same passion was an awesome fun time where he had us jumping and singing along to all of my favorite Newsboys songs.

They started out with my favorite latest "Something Beautiful" and then of course Shine, Stay Strong, Breakfast and more. I hadn't seen them in concert in several years since high school in California. It was awesome how they did a little retro round table gig about where they came from and how far they had come. They started in a van until their first big hit "Not ashamed" and it grew from there. For me it was even sweeter to have ending with one of my favorite worship songs "I am free". It was an awesome time of fellowship and great music. It was awesome to see a friends dream come true and be blessed in the messages of the music too.

Fruit: JOY

Song in my head: Something Beautiful - Newsboys
Verse: Psalm 29: 1 Ascribe to the LORD, O mighty, ascribe to the LORD glory and strength. 2 Ascribe to the LORD the glory due his name; worship the LORD in the splendor of his holiness. 3 The voice of the LORD is over the waters; the God of glory thunders, the LORD thunders over the mighty waters. 4 The voice of the LORD is powerful; the voice of the LORD is majestic

Oceans Raging Wild

2008-07-23T18:35:00.000-07:00

Ankles deep in sand with the sun scorching my every space,
So dry that I want to lick the sweat off my face,
Running along side the ocean not looking at the tide,
The ocean started rumbling and raging wild,
I never saw the wave coming before it crashed into my side,
I can't drink that water it's not purified,
The awards feel empty and I'm still so thirsty looking for His face,
I couldn't see the end of it when I was in fourth place,
I pursued it with the same passion that I pursued Him,
And I met them in the end today in awards of first place,
But Only the One could satisfy the hunger of that empty awards place,
A flood I can't contain beyond the danger,
Spirit flooding in with a prayer shared with a stranger,
Waterfalls of passion came in with sharing of His grace,
His tears that fell filling that every naked place,
Along side the desert now, That ocean can rage wild,
Now I'm looking for the tide, my mouth never dry inside,
Because I drink of the water that is purified,

Fruit: Peace
Song in my head: Everlasting God - Lincoln Brewtser
Verse: Hebrews 10:22 let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. 23Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. 24And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. 25Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

M & M's Inspiration :)

2008-07-22T15:30:00.000-07:00

Inspired by my friend Kelly's blog I found some cute U-tubez about my favorite treats. I have always loved M&M's peanut most. Here a a few fun tubez I found today. Feeling a bit under the weather today I thought...

Wouldn't life be easier as a M&M...

I guess life as an M&M could be tuff too :)

Fruit: Peace
Song in my Head: Take the 5th & All I need
Verse: Psalm: 34Wait for the LORD and keep his way. He will exalt you to inherit the land;... 37 Consider the blameless, observe the upright; there is a future for the man of peace.

Top Ten Lakefair Trash Treasures

2008-07-19T23:46:00.001-07:00

Picking up trash at lakefair today and yesterday I found some interesting things as did my fellow trash conasours.

1. Quarter, Dime, and a Penny

2. Dog Biscut

3. Silver Spoon (real not plastic)

4. Lake Fair parade guide

5. Jar of Peanut butter

6. Business card inviting people to a church in Lacey

7. Spider man toy

8. Pile of Laughy Taffy wrappers (my fav)

9. Pink underwear

10. Doggie Poop

I also met some great people too and I shook governor Christine Gregoire's hand. Pretty cool beans kind of day. Up at 3am and it's about 21 hours now so I best be hitting the sheets. So amazing I feel so positive and totally great energized inside even though my body is saying rest. Prayer just works :)

Fruit: Joy

Song in my head: Give me your eyes - Brandon Heath

Verse: Matthew... Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest .. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your soul... so just trust me.. (version: Michele)

20 Minute Blind Blog

2008-07-18T20:20:00.000-07:00

Okay I have 20 minutes to blog. My day has been crazy. I was up at 3am and off to work on my day off to work on a special project overtime. I worked tell 12 and then headed to Lake Fair. I thought I would be serving helping with an "ice truck" where vendors come to get ice but there were some other plans in store for me. My first duty was to get some food for a volunteer who was working the booth. I got her some demo burgers for her and her ride home. Then it was off to pick up some trash for a hour or so with a gal named April that I hadnt seen in several years since we were in a prayer group about 3ish or so years ago. After that I went to my post at the ice truck when my infamous leader Kelly pointed to some lovely "doggie doo" and said "do you feel like getting some jewels in your crown?" Some people had let their dog let out a big one right in front of our booth. So I did the nasty and picked up the still warm yukieness. Sorry for the descriptiveness. I dont have time for editing as this is my 20 min blog. So after washing and having decided I was quite content that my "excitement" for my lakefair serving was all about flexability is just when Kelly got a call. A vendor had a emergency and had to drive to Seattle suddenly and would need someone to man his booth for 4 hours or so. Kelly offered it to me in leu of my ice truck duty and I accepted. It was crazy being a salesgirl but I loved it. I was selling trendy belts sunglasses and wallets and purses and baskets from ghanna. Okay that was total run on crazy sentence but oh well. I only have 20 min and I am typing without my contacts on so that is the blind part. Its only 20 minutes because I have to get to bed afterwords to get up at 5am to work overtime on my special project at work tell 12 noon again and then off to Lakefair again... Okay so lesson learned today... I am a good sales woman... I really like funky people who buy crazy belts... I had fun today.. even picking up the dog poop... I liked my special project at work... fun doing something different.... I need some sleep.. and so good night all.. On ward and upward.. I can make it ... leap tall buildings and... I am superwoman!

Song in my head: new song by? "give me your ... hands so I can... eyes so I can see... the brokenhearted yea aaa" Name escapes me .. will add later

Verses: Psalm.. 40 something that I will add all later..

Yesterday's Makeover today's

2008-07-10T16:23:00.000-07:00

Today was awesome. So many things went right. I got an wonderful full nights rest and skipped to my car. Had a incredible time of "Starbucks free" worship all the way to work. A old friend found me on facebook and added me. I felt the most confident I ever have at work today and I found out I'm number 4 on the list of top 10 Expedia Tacoma agents. I got a phone call from a friend. Also I get to play volleyball tonight with great friends and found out a great old friend will be joining us. This was also my Friday which makes it the start of my 3 day weekend. Sometimes I feel spoiled by God with awesome days like today. What a difference a day makes...

Yesterday I was singing "Yesterday" by the Beatles as I was so frustrated with how my day was going. I remember writing down my "emergency purchase" that I had to stop for at a gas station. I thought "yikes, they soo get people like me".

It had been a 12 hour day at work and had been awake since 3am and my eyes were watering, burning and exhausted at 5pm in traffic in Tacoma. I couldn't see with the bright sun and it was not safe for me to drive without sunglasses.

I had lost my sunglasses so it was a necessary purchase to buy some but needing them now I had to pay the "buy it now" price. (E-bay reference) Then when I got home I found my sunglasses in my car in a obvious place. It was not a good numbers day for me all around. My calories soared and my gym time in the teens I was not a very good citizen of one taking stock of the numbers in my life. This week I have been making friends with numbers. Math and numbers have never been my favorite thing.

I started a book study with my small group on "Total Money Makeover" by Dave Ramsey. This week I have met the challenge set forth by our fearless number cruncher study leader Mary.
She gave us a spreadsheet and asked us all to write down every purchase we make each day down to the last stick of gum so we could see where our mula was going to.

I had started writing everything down on Tuesday and it has been quite an eye opener already. It made me think of all the things lately that I have been counting recently. I really don't like numbers. They have always been a struggle for me to find any joy in.

I modified something I wrote many moons ago about spiders to one on numbers for fun. Yes I equate spiders to numbers :)

Numbers Numbers Everywhere but all I can do is stare... They are on that sign on the road telling me what route to go, online in my calorie counter, on my checkbook and at work. too tired to scream... too smart to run... and too lost to catch them.

Numbers Numbers Everywhere but all I can do is stare... They are asking me to count and figure. They are not my gift, not my friends, and not my prefered way to meet the ends.

Numbers Numbers Everywhere but all I can do is stare... How do I find the equasion that can equal an end? I know I can find a fraction of peace in their midst, yet there is always a temptation to resist.

I am blessed not to have many bills or pets to rack up any fictional ones. I found a fun story from CNN.com about one Dogs debt. http://www.kcra.com/station/16839043/detail.html

Prayerfully today I submited to my lessons learned yesterday and reasoned I will learn that emotion does sometimes play in how my money is spent. It is all Gods first and what happens after that is what we are taking a look at in our study.

Today a song in my head was from the 80's "Things are going great, and they're only getting better, I'm doing all right, getting good grades, The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades"

Fruit: Joy & Gentleness
Song in my head: Futures so Bright, I gotta wear shades - Timbuk 3

Verse: Leviticus 9:24 Fire came out from the presence of the LORD and consumed the burnt offering and the fat portions on the altar. And when all the people saw it, they shouted for joy and fell facedown.

Reaching

2008-07-06T19:40:00.000-07:00

There's a time I can recall,

Four years old and three feet tall,

Trying to touch the stars and the cookie jars,

And both were out of reach,

And later on in my high school,

It seemed to me a little cruel,

How the right words to say always seemed to stay,

Just out of reach,

Well I should not have thought it strange,

That growing causes growing pains'

Cause the more we learn the more we know,

We don't know anything,

But still it seems a tragic fate,

Living with this quiet ache,

The constant strain for what remains,

Just out of reach,
We are reaching for the future,
We are reaching for the past,

And no matter what we have we reach for more,

We are desperate to discover,

What is just beyond our grasp,

But maybe that's what heaven is for,
There are times I can't forget,

Dressed up in my Sunday best,

Trying not to squirm and to maybe learn,

A bit of what the preacher preached,

And later lying in the dark,

I felt a stirring in my heart,

And though I longed to see what could not be seen,

I still believed,

I guess I shouldn't think it odd,

Until we see the face of God,

The yearning deep within us tells us,

There's more to come,

So when we taste of the divine,

It leaves us hungry every time,

For one more taste of what awaits,

When heaven's gates are reached,
I believe that's what heaven is for.

There's a time I can recall,

Four years old and three feet tall.

Trying to touch the stars and the cookie jars,

And both were out of reach

Fruit: Patience & Peace

Song in my head: Reaching - Carolyn Arrends
Verse: Psalm 57: 8 Awake, my soul! Awake, harp and lyre! I will awaken the dawn. 9 I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations; I will sing of you among the peoples. 10 For great is your love, reaching to the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies. 11 Be exalted, O God, above the heavens; let your glory be over all the earth

Songs in my head

2008-07-03T23:52:00.000-07:00

Do you ever catch yourself singing along to a song and think...

"What in the world am I singing?"

I am on hold a lot a work and while waiting on hold you never know what your gonna get.. It's like a box of chocolates :)

Some of the songs I sung along to today on the way to work and @work..

Newsboys - Breakfast

When the toast is burned
And all the milk has turned
And Captain Crunch is waving farewell
When the Big One finds you
May this song remind you
That they don't serve breakfast in hell

Breakfast clubbers, drop the hankies
Though to some our friend was odd
That day he bought those pine pajamas
His check was good with God

Those here without the Lord
How do you cope?
For this morning we don't mourn
Like those who have no hope

Oh, rise up, Fruit Loop lovers
Sing out Sweet & Low
With spoons held high
We bid our brother, "Cheerio!"

Stone Sour - Through Glass

How do you feel? That is the question
But i forget.. you dont expect an easy answer
When something like a soul becomes
Initialized and folded up like paper dolls and little notes
You cant expect a bit of hope
And while your outside looking in
Describing what you see
Remember what your staring at is me

I'm looking at you through the glass...
Don't know how much time has passed
Oh god it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home sitting all alone inside your head

Airlines hold music is interupted with....
Go ahead and get out of line and check in for your flight online

Manage your travel @continential.com

Now you can take off before you take off with our mastercard.. ..

bla bla blah TSA requirements say liquids gels ...

Rush of fools - Can't get away

I am an arrow, I am a rocket
I am a river and nothing can stop it
Cause You are the target and You are the atmosphere
You are the ocean that keeps pulling me, You're pulling me here
And I, can't get away, can't get away
Can't get away, can't get away
I can't get away, can't get away...I keep running into You
I am a beggar, You are the table
I am so helpless, God You are so able
And when I get turned around

You change my direction
You're so perfect, I'm so broken,

here You come with arms wide open
Chasing after me down every road
You're always waiting there
Even when I close my eyes, I can't help but see
There's no place that I can hide, You're such a part of me
I can't get away cause I keep running into You
I can't get away...

Singing along can be calorie burning... Found a cool website that tells you how many calories you burn for everyday activites http://www.caloriesperhour.com/index_burn.php
One good thing about singing along to music.. It burns calories :)

Fruit: Gentleness
Song in my head: Can't get away - Rush of Fools
Verse: Colossians 3: 15Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 16Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. 17And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Dobson Vs Obama

2008-07-02T18:17:00.000-07:00

I have been keeping tabs with the media on Dobson Vs Obama this last week or so. Dobson is one of my favorite people on earth and so hearing Obama who I have yet to claim any opinion of say he doesn't know what he is talking about really kind of eats me. He is a wise guy and has proven the test of time and years in ministry to give him that credit to listen to what he has to say. I can't say I agree totally with the whole enchilada but he has some significant points in the speech 2006 that Obama gave. Obama really doesn't address the specific points Dobson makes in his replies that I have seen.

I found it odd that Obama supports felt necessary to say that Dobson doesn't speak for Christians. I don't think that Dobson was putting off the message that he was speaking for all Christians or that he was speaking for the Bible either as the website http://www.dobsondoesntspeakforme.com/ implies. It implies that Dobson was making himself out to be God in some way. I have never gotten that from any of his messages and I have been listening to Focus on the Family for many years.

His heart proves true to his words of honest assessment saying it like it is about a political figure. Obama hasn't been one of my favorites as of late and this just makes it worse. When hearing of his abandoning his church and refusing to join another tell after elected it really said something. It says a lot to me about where he is in his faith. Those who stand for their faith and make a shout out are going to have to deal with that crud. He just isn't willing or was "advised" not to.

I am excited that it got the media attention it did with what Dobson said. Maybe his words could put a little feet to the Christian morality that he stands behind for Obama to listen and see voters want. I honestly can say as a voter for 12 years now I have voted in every presidential election and always research my candidate looking at their history and values first and then their agenda. I figure any candidate can say what they will do but what they have done in their past and in their personal lives shows what they will do with my future.

Fruit: Love and Peace
Song in my head: Something to say - Matthew West and I am - Mark Schultz

Verse:Psalm 29 1 Ascribe to the LORD, O mighty ones, ascribe to the LORD glory and strength. 2 Ascribe to the LORD the glory due his name; worship the LORD in the splendor of his holiness. 3 The voice of the LORD is over the waters; the God of glory thunders, the LORD thunders over the mighty waters. 4 The voice of the LORD is powerful; the voice of the LORD is majestic. 5 The voice of the LORD breaks the cedars; the LORD breaks in pieces the cedars of Lebanon. 6 He makes Lebanon skip like a calf, Sirion like a young wild ox. 7 The voice of the LORD strikes with flashes of lightning. 8 The voice of the LORD shakes the desert; the LORD shakes the Desert of Kadesh. 9 The voice of the LORD twists the oaks and strips the forests bare. And in his temple all cry, "Glory!" 10 The LORD sits enthroned over the flood; the LORD is enthroned as King forever. 11 The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace.

Mountains and Moons

2008-06-30T18:19:00.000-07:00

The moon was so beautiful this morning as I was driving to work @4am. It was just a sliver but you could see the outline of the rest of it as the sun started to come rise as I drove to work. It was a beautiful picture to me of how God reveals just a bit of our future at a time. We can't always see the whole thing but just see that sliver of something beautiful being lit up by the Son.

As I dunked my pink hat in the cool water's stream on Saturday and put it on my head the water ran down my back and I smiled. It reminded me of summers when I was a little girl scout hiking. I went on the longest and most challenging hike I have ever been on to Duckabush Trail Saturday. It was a grade 3+ 9 to 10 mile hike. There was the little hump and the Big hump to go the full length of the trail.

As we started off on little hump I listened to the trail talk. One of my favorite joys of hiking is the fellowship of fellow hikers. For some reason it seems that being out in the middle of the forest makes people feel free to say anything at times. The conversation flows from the botanical to personal gut wrenching truths of the goings on in the lives of the hikers. The awesome thing is that the conversation doesn't stop with just those you came to hike with.

Maybe it's just me who can talk to anyone but people seem friendlier out in the forest meeting them on the trail. Maybe it's our dependence on each other if something goes wrong. Maybe its feeling so small looking up at those trees with the sun shining through. I guess the one thing that binds us beyond everything else is a love for nature and being there.

I listened along the way to Eric who knows so much about the trees and the growth of the forest we were in. He told us all about how old this forest was by looking at the trees and how it was replanted after being logged about 25 or so years ago. Later on my way up little hump I saw some white flowers that I am not sure what were called. One of the fellow hikers on the trail who wasn't with our group and I chatted about them. We both took a picture hoping to identify it later.

Little hump wasn't quite as little as I thought it would be. It was a long rocky somewhat straight curve up and down the hump. There were a couple of stream crossings that had little waterfalls that were beautiful.

When going down little hump one of the gals who was with me said "if this is little hump I am never making it up big hump". I have to admit I was thinking something similar but when we reached the river and I felt waters cool mist I was inspired. I decided I could make it up the big hump. What I didn't know then was the huge challenge ahead for me. It was a 1000 feet of elevation to climb up the wall face of the mountain with narrow switch backs and gravel under foot in some areas.

The steep climb was a bit of a challenge even for some of those seasoned hikers in my group. I didn't give up even though about halfway up I was looked down and had a bit of fear about that climb back down. The narrow parts just made me all the more aware of how I needed to be careful of my footing. It was a huge workout for my legs and my thigh and calf muscles were throbbing and feeling quite stretched by the top. It was all good.

As promised there was a sweet lookout at the almost top. It was worth conquring big hump to see it. Dennis or fearless hike leader was there taking photos and shared some of his trail stories up there. After big hump I went back down to the valley between the big and little and put my feet in the river. It was cool and quite refreshing to put your feet in on a 90ish degree day. I got my hat wet again and was loving it.

I decided to head out a bit ahead of the group on the way back from the midway point we were resting at by the river. Madison who was the only child on our hike decided she wanted to go with me. At 8 years old she was a trooper and had no trouble keeping up and heading us out. She was a fun little trail buddy as she hiked with me. She talks endlessly and is such a joy. When she got tired she didn't look for a log or rock to sit on. She just sat down right there in the middle of the path and said "I'm tired". I laughted and sat down with her. Earlier we had been hanging out by the river and she bravely got her feet in too. She also climbed up on a big rock nest to the river and pointed up. I got a photo of her up there.

It was a great trip and I am so amazed at how beautiful and big God feels everytime I encounter Him in nature. Seeing the moon this morning was just another picture on a piece of the puzzle of the mystery God can be at times. I couldn't see the whole moon this morning just like I can't see all of God's plan sometimes but I can trust that He is all there and loves me.

Fruit: Gentleness & Patience

Song in my head: If you didn't love me - Phil Stacey

Verse: 1 John 3:1How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.

Valley girl

2008-06-25T18:01:00.000-07:00

"Even though the journey's long
And I know the road is hard
Well, the One who's gone before me

He will help me carry on

After all that I've been through

Now I realize the truth

That I must go through the valley

To stand upon the mountain of God"

I was feeling a bit like I needed some encouragement today. What astounds me about God is that so many times when I am going through a "valley day" I find the greatest joys there.

I decided a long time ago that my "valley days" are going to be a like a field of wildflowers. It is all about how you choose to see your "valley days" that makes them what they become. Even when I am feeling down I can always look around and see the wildflowers. I just have to remember to look for them.

They are in smiles and joys that grow wild and unpredictable bringing the sun on in with them. Sometimes they come in a song or the laughter a stranger brings to me. God is so faithful to bring me those wildflowers of hope on a tough day. It is amazing how God works.

A good friend calling me out of the blue just to see how I was. Things like laughing out loud from an email @work. Visits from vendors @work bringing us freebees. Finding a great old CD and singing along to the song. Feeling good about a awesome workout @ the gym. Taking a little joy in doing something nice for someone even though you know they will not even know it was you who did it. Or just a smile.. which reminds me of a favorite song by Nat King..

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though its breaking

When there are clouds in the sky, youll get by

If you smile through your fear and sorrow

Smile and maybe tomorrow

Youll see the sun come shining through for you

Light up your face with gladness

Hide every trace of sadness

Although a tear may be ever so near

Thats the time you must keep on trying

Smile, whats the use of crying?

Youll find that life is still worthwhile

If you just smile

Choosing to smile :)

Fruit: Kindness & Joy
Song in my head: Mountain of God - Third day
Verse: The kindness of a stranger... Genesis 24: whole chapter 31"Come, you who are blessed by the LORD," he said. "Why are you standing out here? I have prepared the house and a place for the camels."

Contra Dancing & Cocomo

2008-06-23T18:07:00.000-07:00

It is an awesome feeling to be taken to your limit physically and have so much fun doing it. The best times in my life have been trying something new and this was one of them. I tried Contra dancing Saturday night and "man is it a workout". It was one of the best times. We danced fast for 3 1/2 hours straight learning and loving every minute of it. It was easy to pick up and we all had so much fun.

I danced with more people than I ever have before and I might add :) got asked to dance more than I ever have before. It was a group of about 100 or so people. A awesome mix of ages from 60 somethings down to 20 somethings. I loved it because it represented several cultures and people groups coming together to dance without any pretenses, bias, or racial signs. It was just good clean fun. I am so going again!

On another fun note.. I got sung to again today by a customer. This time I caught them singing. Sometimes people will be on hold a long time to speak with me reguarding their issue and will put me on speakerphone while on hold. This older gentleman had put me on speakerphone and didn't realize that the hold music playing from me had stopped. I got back on the line to hear him singing cocomo. You know it, you have to know it! It's the Beach Boys!

Aruba Jamaica ooh I wanna take ya
Bermuda Bahama come on pretty mama
Key Largo Montego baby why don't we goo
oh I wanna you down to Cocomo
we'll get there fast and then we'll take it slow
that's where we wanna go way down in Cocomo

It made my day and I laughed so hard I almost cried because he was soooo embarrased to be caught singing loud (very off key). Plus (because I'm a brat) I kinda let him sing for a little bit before interupting him. Those are my most favorite moments @work. :)

I have had some great times digging in lately too. What is it about the book of 1Peter lately? I was just at another friends house Sunday afternoon @BBQ and yet another mentioned 1Peter blessing their socks off. Pastor Burt also mentioned 1Peter in his sermon too.

Today I checked out my Monday http://www.crosswalk.com/ devotional for women@work and found her first verse to be "Finally, all of you should be of one mind, full of sympathy toward each other, loving one another with tender hearts and humble minds.” ~ 1 Peter 3:8

I love to be challenged as it drives me to think. There are some great questions asked. What is He teaching you? Where are you going? (Africa, China, Las Vegas w/Expedia, LA, Olympia, Timbuktu) What are you going to do with what God gives you?

I think He is teaching me again that it's all @bout the IECCR. Integrity in reading the word of God, Excellence of effort to always try my best in every situtation, having the Courage to step out "do what is right" having Consistantancy in everything I do and have the Relevance I need in my e-generation@.com world I work in. Bloom where I am planted for now :)

Fruit Love & Joy
Song in my Head: Kokomo - Beach Boys
Verse: 1Peter - The whole thing! 1:6 In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy
1:13 Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. 14As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. 15But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do

Asking listening and giving it up ...

2008-06-20T18:28:00.000-07:00

Wanting my hearts desires but truely willing to give it up so I can give it all if that is what it takes to follow. It seems that it is just at that time when I realize that there is absolutely nothing I can say and there is absolutely nothing I can do that I finally trust that it is completely in Gods hand's. Finally I let go and then I find release and most often an answer to that prayer. If only I could get there quicker. :)

The word on my heart this week:
1 Samuel 3:10 The LORD came and stood there, calling as at the other times, "Samuel! Samuel!" Then Samuel said, "Speak, for your servant is listening."

Psalm 1:1 Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. 2 But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night. 3 He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.

1 Peter 3:14 But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened."15But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect,

1 Corinthians 3 6 I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. 7Soneither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, whomakes things grow. 8The man who plants and the man who waters have onepurpose, and each will be rewarded according to his own labor. 9For weare God's fellow workers; you are God's field, God's building.

1 Peter 4: 7 The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray. 8Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 9Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. 10Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. 11If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.

Proverbs 23:12 Apply your heart to instruction and your ears to words of knowledge.

Matthew 4:19"Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men." 20At once they left their nets and followed him.

Galatians 5:1 It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. 22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 25Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Psalm 143: 8 Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.

Song of Solomon 2:1 I am a rose of Sharon, a lily of the valleys.

Fruit: Faithfullness & Love

Song in my Head: Lord you are - Mark Schultz

Verses: all of the above :)

First Times

2008-06-16T15:40:00.000-07:00

On the water looking at the clams spitting on the shore Saturday I had to laugh and praise God for another "first time". It was my first time kayaking. This was something I couldn't have possibly done a year and a half ago physically. It's amazing the "working it out" of God. I love to see His promises and faithfulness everyday but especially good when I can look back and see where I have come from. I'm so thankful for a God who sees the beginning and the end. He knows my history. One of my favorite songs this last year has been "History".
Would you believe that you are history,

In the making, in the making

Every choice that you are making

Every step that you are taking

Every chain that you are breaking

History is in the making

Every word that you are saying

Every prayer that you are praying

Every chain that you are breaking

History is in the making

Excited for the next step...

Fruit: Love & Joy

Song in my Head: History -Matthew West & Supernatural Wave - Break of Dawn

Verse: Psalm 119: 57 You are my portion, O LORD; I have promised to obey your words. 58 I have sought your face with all my heart; be gracious to me according to your promises. 108 Accept, O LORD, the willing praise of my mouth, and teach me your laws. 109 Though I constantly take my life in my hands, I will not forget your law.

Good morning madam

2008-06-12T14:42:00.000-07:00

This morning I had to ask the question. "Am I thankful for those little things God blesses me with everyday?". Here I am wanting " " and waiting for " " but am I faithful to take in today's blessings?

This morning like almost every morning I pulled in and parked my car @expedia.com and said a little prayer for a moment before getting out. As with most mornings the odd security guard for my building is right there by my car when I open my eyes.

He smiles and says to me as I walk towards my building "Good Morning Madam" and does a little bow. In grand tradition I always smile and say "good morning sir". His formal greeting has always made me smile. It has a sense of chivlry.

It struck me this morning how much of a blessing this man is and I didn't even know his name. The safety he provides in the quiet dark downtown streets at 4 in the morning is such a blessing. He doesn't have to greet me like I am a queen every morning but he does. So this morning I broke tradition this morning and I asked his name.

I am thankful for the "last ones". There is a song by Matthew West called "last ones " about a little girl named Taylor who is a "special needs child" who sees "something beautiful" in people not everyone would. The song goes "Maybe the last ones are the lucky ones, The ones who got this whole thing figured out 'Cause when they go looking for something beautiful They start looking from the inside out". I think the true heros of the world are those that can see from the inside out.

Hearing the song about her has reminded me of another "Special guy" who once helped me. It was one of my toughest days in college. I had just failed yet another Math test and was feeling defeated. I was exhausted having just returned from a Mexico Mission trip and running late for work.

I was walking up one of the very steep hills at Mt. San Antonio College in Walnut California. At my limit physically and in my hurry of leaving class I had left my back pack unzipped. I shuffled up the hill and tripped falling sideways skining my knee. My backpack went flying and my papers and supplys went everywhere. With tears in my eyes I stopped and just stared as the papers sailing away. Students were rushing past me ignoring my fall and I was ready to give up.

That's when this boy who I didn't know came running up to me and took my elbow and escorted me to a bench and said "sit". Blindly, still feeling confused I followed him and sat down. That is when I saw the sweetest picture of Jesus in him. It was then that I noticed he was one of the "last ones". He had down syndrome. I watched him pick up all my papers and books. He set my backpack down next to me, smiled and walked away.

He asked nothing of me but just showed incredible kindness. I remember tears flowing when I got to my car that day. I wasn't crying because of my day any longer but just overwhelmed by the sweet humble gesture that it was. I want people like Taylor and this boy in my life. I want to be like them.. one of the lucky ones. "The ones who've got this whole thing figured out and so Maybe the next time we go looking for beautiful we'll try looking from the inside out".

Some things I am thankful for today:
The Security Guard named Manuel
The chocolate fountain buffet a hotel vendor brought to my work today :)

The beautiful blue sky and white puffy clouds that finally came out

A encouraging text message

A package that arrived on my back porch

Volleyball with friends tonight

Fruit: Love & Gentleness
Song in my Head: Last ones - Matthew West

Verses: Mark 10:43 Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must

be your servant, 44and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all.
Matthew 5:5 Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

Open Fields of Wildflowers

2008-06-11T16:12:00.000-07:00

A friend asked me why name your blog "Open fields of wild flowers". I replied "It's my song". He is the song on my lips.

In open fields of wild flowers,she breathes the air and flies away
She thanks her Jesus for the daises and the roses in no simple language
Someday she'll understand the meaning of it all
He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens

As close a heartbeat or a song on her lips

Someday she'll trust Him and learn how to see Him
Someday He'll call her and she will come running and fall in His arms and the tears will fall down and she'll pray,

"I want to fall in love with You"

Sitting silent wearing Sunday best
The sermon echoes through the walls
A great salvation through it calls to the people who stare into nowhere, and can't feel the chains on their souls
He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens
As close a heartbeat or a song on our lips
Someday we'll trust Him and learn how to see Him
Someday He'll call us and we will come running and fall in His arms and the tears will fall down and we'll pray,
"I want to fall in love with You"
It seems too easy to call you "Savior",
Not close enough to call you "God"
So as I sit and think of words I can mention to show my devotion

"I want to fall in love with You"

"my heart beats for You"

Fruit Love & Patience
Song in my Head: Lovesong for a Savior - Jars of Clay
Verse:1 Corinthians 3:1-23 6 I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. 7So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. 8The man who plants and the man who waters have one purpose, and each will be rewarded according to his own labor. 9For we are God's fellow workers; you are God's field, God's building.

Nurse tree's & banana's

2008-06-08T09:45:00.000-07:00

Hiking on the trail along side a steep drop off I could feel a cool mist from the waterfalls as they raged Saturday. I was awed by the power of them. It was a beautiful, powerful sound to hear the water crashing, falling endlessly against the stones. The waters movement over the rocks makes each stone it crosses more and more smooth. It made me think of God's refining. It sometimes takes awhile to get us smoothed out when we are rough.

Saturday I went on a hike with "Mountain View Christian Hikers". This was my first "real" serious hike in many moons and I was so blessed by it. We went to "Horseshoe Falls" to hike along side the raging water falls. It was a challenging hike for me but it was worth it. I hiked about 5 miles or so. I saw something beautiful the whole way and found a sweet sight of a nursing tree.

A nursing tree is a tree that comes to the aid of another smaller tree. Click here to learn more about them. This was especially sweet sight because the nurse was a huge old cedar tree that the wind or some force had taken its top off of. It's large stump still had some life in it and so it reached out and used that little life to aid a smaller tree. It was a beautiful picture of how the broken can be used of God.

I took a picture and awed at the size of the nurse tree. It was once a huge mighty tree and now it was broken and still serving it's smaller tree. It was a beautiful picture to me of how God can use each and every person and sometimes better after having weathered the storms in our lives.

The river raging wild below and the nursing tree above it. I leaned against the nursing tree and rested on the way back down the trial and thought. Eating my mushy banana I had a favorite old song come into my head while there. It's called I like bananas.

I have had a awesome weekend all around. Friday night we had a awesome night of worship called "full intention" at Church of Living Water. It was a great night and I have heard great things from people who went. I sang in the choir and truely felt the spirit of God there. I spoke with someone on Saturday who came from Chehelis to go who said it was "awesome" and felt God there. It was good to hear some feedback from someone I didn't know well that God used it in her life.

She was a small tree and God used Living Water's night of worship to be a nursing tree for her. I love knowing a God who loves us and provides for our every need. Seeing the nursing tree makes it easier to trust that God hears each and every prayer and shows how He continues to prove Himself faithful.

Pastor Burt's message struck me with his passionate wisdom in trusting those prayers we pray in our weakest moments of doubt. His message tied my blessings together to have all my senses fully grasp the wonder and awe of the power of God. I heard the sound of voices praise on Friday, the sound of river rage on Saturday, and my pastor share on Sunday. I smelled the fresh life of the forest's growth. I saw a glimpse of God in a nursting tree. I felt the gentle rain and the spirit of God in it all. It was all good.

Here is the song I was singing..

I like bananas I know that mangos are sweet I like papayas...PAPAYAS

But nothing can beat that sweet love of God

Here we go Here we go Here we go

Well I was walking round in circles five miles an hour

Trying to find my way back to the Heavenly Father

The world tasted sweet But then it turned sour,

so I asked God in and received His power Like Arnold Schwartzenegger!!!

Fruit: Gentleness & Patience

Song in my Head: I like Bananas

Verse: Matthew 11: 28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

50.000 Shirts for China

2008-06-04T16:14:00.000-07:00

A web designer named Steve came up with a awesome grass roots idea. This is a story of hope. I got a email about the 50,000 shirts campaign from PJ #515 and I thought it was a awesome idea.

"My name is Steve. On Monday, May 19, 2008, I set a goal to sell 50,000 shirts and raise $1,000,000 to help in the aftermath of China's 7.9 earthquake."

Here is the video about it. I would encourage you to go to the website and email him for a T-shirt. Check out the "wall" and get your name on it.
"
Fruits: Love & Patience
Song in my head: God of this City
Verse: Psalm 143: 8 Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.

Pesky critters & Cuties

2008-06-02T15:06:00.000-07:00

There are some days when I love my job. I had fun today at work and learned something today. Isn't it good to just learn something new and interesting. It was interesting to me at least.

I love my international customers with interesting accents. My customer today had a very talkative bird in the background and I asked her about it. Since we tend to live on hold with support desks for airline issues I use the time to chat sometimes. With her distinctively british accent she told me of how she used to live in Botswana South Africa with her husband. He was an engineer on a project there for a few years. She told me about her bird in the background that she named Pula. She got Pula while she was there.

Apparently it's a very pricey bird here in the USA but one that is considered a nuisance there in Botswana. Her bird is a Myna Common Indian who she said talks very well. She said her husband sometimes couldn't tell the difference in her voice from the birds calling him. They apparently can change the tone in their voices. I googled and found a cool website on them.Click here to see it. There are so many species of birds. I am not a typical birdwatcher but I love to see nature before me.

I had a Cockatiel when I was younger. It was a bit of a stinker though and bit my friends lip open. She was trying to teach it how to speak and had it close to her mouth. Suddenly Frankie chomped down on my friends bottom lip and held on for dear life. My friend shook her head but Frankie just kept holding on. He was nicknamed "chomper" after that. The Myna seems like its a pesky stinker of a bird after reading about it with its mimic of humans and scavenging for food but it sounded fun hearing it live today.

Here is a fun video of a Myna:
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Fruit: Gentleness
Song in my head: Lovesong for a Savior - Jars of Clay

Verse: 1Peter 3:15 But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect,

Cancer Sucks

2008-05-30T20:17:00.000-07:00

My eyes still closed smelling the Lilacs in my room this morning I smiled as I woke up. I was tired but it gave me inspiration wake up. I love this time of year when everything is becoming greener more alive.

Today was the Relay for Life event for Tacoma. ACS organizes the relays. We had several fundraisers @Expedia where I work and we bought T-shirts that say "Cancer Sucks" for the Relay. I wore my "Cancer Sucks" t-shirt today. It's a pretty frank statement but it seems to be popular. I googled it just to see what would come up and found this site for teens who are affected by cancer. Click here to see it.

There have been so many people in my life affected by Cancer. The first person I remember to get cancer that I knew was my cousin Stacy who got Leukemia as a little girl. I remember I was a few years older than her and didn't understand at the time what cancer was. The only thing I knew was that it scared the adults in my life and so it scared me. My grandmother who I was very close to growing up passed away from Colon Cancer a few years later. She was the first person to die that I loved and at 11 years old I really didn’t understand why.

At her funeral sitting in the pew I didn't hear a word of the message. I listened to the children playing outside the chapel in the school next to it. I felt lost without her and started to hate the word cancer and God for awhile. I didn't understand why a loving God would let someone who loved so much, gave so much and had so much left to give die.

There were others in my life that got cancer but none that made as huge of an impact as my Grandmother's until my first pastor after I became a Christian Dan Vasquez got cancer and passed away. I will never forget that last Easter sermon where he shared his love letters from the church while he was fighting cancer. 24 hours of prayer chains and it didn't work. We were trusting on a miracle that did not happen. I asked God again the question "why would a loving God let someone who loved so much, gave so much and had so much left to give die?"

I don't know the answer to that question. I could guess and I could try to come up with reasons but ultimate lately it's all selfish. They are in heaven with an awesome God so who am I to want them still on earth. It's just that we miss them. The treasure is in the promise and security of knowing that we will see them again. We will give them a huge hug and say "thank you".

There have been many others who have been touched by cancer that I have known and it's amazing to see God heal some of them. I just have to trust that God knows what He is doing when I don't understand. He loves us even in those times where we doubt Him and question. We will never know why God allows cancer to take those people who we love and could see a future for here on earth to do good. We just have to trust that He can see the whole picture of the puzzle while we only see the few pieces before us that seem to fit.

Fruit: Love
Song in my Head: More - Matthew West
Verse: Psalm 36: 7 How priceless is your unfailing love! Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings. 8 They feast on the abundance of your house; you give them drink from your river of delights. 9 For with you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light

Que Sera Sera

2008-05-27T14:42:00.000-07:00

As I consider getting a different car to help with the gas mileage I had to think back to all the cars I have had in my life. It's silly but I have always named my cars. I know there are some I can't remember. It all started with "I think I can" my old 1984 Ford escort I got when I was 16. I babysat for a year to earn the money for her. "I think I can" was named after the little engine that could book. It lived up to its name. "Red hot" my little hatchback Honda civic was next, then "Sally" my red mustang, "smelly" a very old scary boat of a car, "Catty" a brand new Cadillac I got to drive for a few months, "Jetty or midnight"?? 1992 black VW Jetta, "Cherrie" old Jeep Cherokee, "Sadie" the Saturn, "Cappuccino" 1999 Ford Escort, "Silvie" 2006 new Saturn, "Jeeperz" 2005 Jeep Liberty 4x4 fun, and now "Sweet Angel" my Nissan Sentra.

Gas prices as they are I wasn't surprised to hear that the throwback Geo Metros getting 40 miles to the gallon and becoming popular again. I did the math and I found that I would save about 70 dollars a month in gas with the metro. Although for it to be worth trading the metro for my car it would have to be an even trade or less for the metro. With the demand for Metros going far beyond their blue book value it could be hard to find one. http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/wayoflife/05/20/geo.metro/index.html

"Que sera sera... Whatever will be will be.."

Yesterday I brought my special "chocolate chip crunch" cookies fresh from the oven to Kelly's BBQ. When she said we were playing croquet I thought of the theme song to the 1989 movie Heather's. Heather's where I first heard Que sera sera. It was a pretty rough and tumble movie with an evil plot and the game croquet was an essential for the girls in the movie. We had fun playing croquet and Holly even managed to shoot hers up onto the chair running away from pax.

I was reminded of the rules of croquet and how the "poison" person came into play. Paxton became poison and pretty much kicked the rest of us out of the game. Lisa had became poison too near the end but Paxton got her too. It's kind of like how sin enters our lives and poisons us. It gets before us and comes back into the game. In the game poison just has to touch your ball and you’re out. I am thankful we have a God who saves us from that poison or we would all be truly "out" of the game.

The gal from the Bolt Diabetes Center called me today to ask how I was doing. She had asked me if I would come and speak at the center to share how I accomplished all I have. I am not totally there yet but I thought, "I wonder if she will let me share how the power of God in my life allowed me to accomplish losing 140 and achieving a perfect figure skating score for my A1C?" I have always been a big Tara Lipinski fan and for fun it had been my goal to get a perfect score in A1C or better. I was thinking she might screen what I share but I could definitely put it in there.

Fruit: Love
Song in my Head: God of this city & Que Sera Sera
Verse: Exodus 15:1 Then Moses and the Israelites sang this song to the LORD : "I will sing to the LORD, for he is highly exalted. The horse and its rider he has hurled into the sea. 2 The LORD is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise him, my father's God, and I will exalt him. 3 The LORD is a warrior; the LORD is his name. 13 "In your unfailing love you will lead the people you have redeemed. In your strength you will guide them to your holy dwelling. 17 You will bring them in and plant them on the mountain of your inheritance— the place, O LORD, you made for your dwelling, the sanctuary, O Lord, your hands established. 18 The LORD will reign for ever and ever.

Random Weekend Thoughts..

2008-05-25T17:55:00.000-07:00

It's been a great weekend. Friday night I had a "quiet" night. I tend to go and go most weekends with so much planned I forget to rest. Sometimes you just need a restful quiet cozy night in with a movie or great book and some yummy Thai chicken curry.

Saturday I spent the day with my friend having some girlfriend time. She has an adorable little sweet Pekinese mix dog named Bozzy Bean. I love to walk him, and he is so much fun and adorable. He ran around while we got on our bathing suits and washed our cars at my house. Then we laid out in the sun and went in the spa. It was a great day.

Today I went to church and heard from Pastor Jon. His sermons feel like a chat to me and less formal which is really refreshing sometimes. It reminded me of the conference last weekend with the gals. It was all about dealing with conflict in a healthy way and reminded me of the "cycle of interruption". (see previous blog)

After church I went to see Indiana Jones. It has been so hyped up at work with our promo's that I was really excited to see it. I loved the originals. I have to say that in the theatre I looked to my friend on the right and said "aliens" and looked to my friend on the left and said "aliens in Indiana Jones". What were they thinking? I loved the ones from the 80's so was a bit surprised to see the Indiana I knew and loved with aliens in it. It was a little weird combination of Indiana adventure and sci-fi. Harrison made up for it though with his (sigh) smile.

Living a bit out in the country you never know what you might find sometimes. We had some chicken visitors today when I got home. They were cute and finding some great critters in our grass to peck at.

Tomorrow I have to work unfortunately but I do get to go to two barbeques in the afternoon. God’s love is so sweet when I can see it in a beautiful day. I am praying beyond predictions that the weather will be nice tomorrow. Memorial day is awesome day to remember the soldiers. My mom has always taught me to say “thank you for serving” to soldiers no matter where they served. I’m thankful for His blessings.

Fruit: Love

Song in my Head: Free to run

Verse: Matthew 22:37 My song version “I am going to love the Lord my God with all my Heart, Soul, Mind and Strength”.

Turning it around

2008-05-21T18:04:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had a yuk day where everything just went wrong? I had one of those days today. Perserverence to go above and beyond for a customer today truely tried my patience. It was two and half hours into the phone call with the customer. I had called the airlines twice, called my CSA desk, and called Sabre desk, and was getting no resolution. It was a complicated issue of multiple airlines, validating carrier's pushing back, a major schedule changes causing rerouting and confusing notes in the PNR. I was still on the line with Sabre and she had just said "I can't fix this problem".

The sabre gal noted how long I had been working for the customer and said "you could just refer her to the airline as it is their issue". She was saying I could get rid of the problem for myself by passing off the customer. I thought, "no I am her agent" and I just couldn't do that to my customer.

My well dry, I finally said a prayer "God help me out here". After 3 hours I was done. I really wanted to help this customer but I was out of ideas and kept getting the run around. Just after I prayed it finally got resolved. It wasn't in the way I thought it would be but it happend. It made me think.

"When will I learn to trust that God answers my prayers?"

I just have to ask and He will turn it around. I needed my favorite "Paul" today after work. Paul is such a poet. I love his words about perserverance.

Fruit: Patience
Song in my head: History - Matthew West
Verse: 2 Corinthians 6:3-9 4Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses; 5in beatings, imprisonments and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger; 6in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; 7in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left; 8through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; 9known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed;

Tragic cookie news...

2008-05-20T15:54:00.001-07:00

I got an email while at work today titled “sad tragic news”. I was thinking... oh no, which airlines went out of business this time.. was there another tragic earthquake… another volcano in Equador..
What world disaster could await at the opening of this email?

14 Tons of spilled Oreo cookies snarl traffic
It was a cookie crisis! I laughed out loud when I opened it and saw the headline. A Oreo cookie driver fell asleep a the wheel and spilled the cookies! Here is the story http://www.komoradio.com/news/offbeat/19069879.html
With all the tragic news in the news today it was good to have a laugh. Everything in the news @expedia effects travel. We are always first to find out about major world events. The politics causing riots in Africa, volcano in Equador erupting, earthquake 7.8 in China, and now cookies in crisis. We have to laugh or else we would cry at the reality of our world today.

Oreos are my second favorite cookie. My favorites are my recipe of “Chocolate Chip Crunch Cookies” that I love to bake. I will have to bake some to surprise my small group sometime soon.

Fruit: Love
Song in my head: Something to say – Matthew West
Verse: Psalm 16:8-9 I have set the Lord always before me, Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body will also rest secure.